Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom dropped me off at a friend's house. Upon leaving, my friend's mom said how much I looked like my mother. My mother then replied, "That's funny, she was adopted." This was the first I'd heard of this. FML
Today, my mom told me that she had great news: we were going to meet my biological parents. I didn't know I was adopted. FML
Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML
Today, I met this girl who's perfect. Turns out, since I'm adopted, she might be my sister. FML
Today, after years of not speaking with my birth mother, I took a chance and stopped to talk to her when I saw her outside of her house. Five minutes into it, I knew I needed my hair recolored and that I'm out of shape, this all being said by a totally gray haired fat woman. FML
Today, when I was unpacking all of my stuff, my parents declared that they are going to live in Australia, and have found me a 'friend'. I am a 14 year old girl at boarding school, and my friend is my new foster mum. FML
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. I also found out from her husband that she has her nipples and nether regions pierced. FML
Today, my mother, who is 75 years-old, just told me and my sister that we were adopted. I'm 45 years-old and my sister is 49. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's entire extended family at a party. All of them, including his dad, said I looked exactly like his mum. FML
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Top comments
amrik 11
if I were you I would thank her for putting me up for adoption
nate_msm 0
it's neither op's mum ate it
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Comments (273)
sirsocal 0
Those stupid fat americans
lunax_fml 14
hmm.. this sounds TOO believable to the point it actually sounds fake.
MyLifeIsAverageS 5
haters should shut up. i bet u like a bunch of things the rest of the commenters could hate. if u have nothing NICE to say, shut up
athena3100 9
or maybe op was adopted into the UK My boyfriend was born in Russia but was adopted by parents in the USA
StromyG2 10
Well, at least she didn't birth AND raise you.
Tristan25_fml 2
Sorry that she is the one that represents the rest of us...
butterytoast420 0
its not so bad.......she could be on team Jacob
kims0706 10
Please, dear god PLEASE just understand that not all Americans are like that...
newburton13 26
I'm so sorry that you met the most stereotypical American on the face of the planet and I hope you don't think we're all like that. I'll admit the majority are a bunch of media-addicted fatasses but not everyone is like that.
dragonstrike94 8
208- so do I :D