Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, my mom dropped me off at a friend's house. Upon leaving, my friend's mom said how much I looked like my mother. My mother then replied, "That's funny, she was adopted." This was the first I'd heard of this. FML
Breaking
Today, my mom told me that she had great news: we were going to meet my biological parents. I didn't know I was adopted. FML
Thanks, I guess?
Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML
Family matters
Today, I met this girl who's perfect. Turns out, since I'm adopted, she might be my sister. FML
Mom of the year
Today, after years of not speaking with my birth mother, I took a chance and stopped to talk to her when I saw her outside of her house. Five minutes into it, I knew I needed my hair recolored and that I'm out of shape, this all being said by a totally gray haired fat woman. FML
Today, when I was unpacking all of my stuff, my parents declared that they are going to live in Australia, and have found me a 'friend'. I am a 14 year old girl at boarding school, and my friend is my new foster mum. FML
TMI
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. I also found out from her husband that she has her nipples and nether regions pierced. FML
The truth will always come out
Today, my mother, who is 75 years-old, just told me and my sister that we were adopted. I'm 45 years-old and my sister is 49. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's entire extended family at a party. All of them, including his dad, said I looked exactly like his mum. FML
Top comments
amrik 11
if I were you I would thank her for putting me up for adoption
nate_msm 0
it's neither op's mum ate it
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Comments (273)
Laughingstock 2
what's wrong with being american?
SnailJamsss 6
who cares. Atleast it's not glee.
digitalartiface 0
Hey it sucks she wasn't what you were hoping for, but at least you know her. I've known a few adopted kids who would love to know there parents. (and not all Americans are bad :-p, though I do wish I lived in the UK)
dashe95 3
Maybe OP has adoptive parents that moved to the UK.
thelonelyboy 0
what a piece of crap. blood isn't always thicker than water OP
Flutist 3
But American moms are thicker than English moms.
kei1108 13
Please don't think that's how all Americans are...
fox333 0
lul shes a nut put her in the crazy home where she belongs FYL
chanta24 10
you gotta love us americans, am I right?!
Cerauno 0
I like how you lumped in "American" with the other adjectives describing how horrible she was. But I can sympathize with you there; I would be just MORTIFIED if my biological parent was a lowly Briton!
Raemay 2
Think yourself lucky you were adopted out!