Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my mom dropped me off at a friend's house. Upon leaving, my friend's mom said how much I looked like my mother. My mother then replied, "That's funny, she was adopted." This was the first I'd heard of this. FML
Today, my mom told me that she had great news: we were going to meet my biological parents. I didn't know I was adopted. FML
Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML
Today, I met this girl who's perfect. Turns out, since I'm adopted, she might be my sister. FML
Today, after years of not speaking with my birth mother, I took a chance and stopped to talk to her when I saw her outside of her house. Five minutes into it, I knew I needed my hair recolored and that I'm out of shape, this all being said by a totally gray haired fat woman. FML
Today, when I was unpacking all of my stuff, my parents declared that they are going to live in Australia, and have found me a 'friend'. I am a 14 year old girl at boarding school, and my friend is my new foster mum. FML
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. I also found out from her husband that she has her nipples and nether regions pierced. FML
Today, my mother, who is 75 years-old, just told me and my sister that we were adopted. I'm 45 years-old and my sister is 49. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's entire extended family at a party. All of them, including his dad, said I looked exactly like his mum. FML
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Top comments
amrik 11
if I were you I would thank her for putting me up for adoption
nate_msm 0
it's neither op's mum ate it
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Comments (273)
harrypotter4evur 15
Oh my god... O.O
The_9th_Doctor 18
we aren't all like that. I promise and sorry.
an3ph 20
Go home and hug your real parents and thank them for rescuing you from this.
themetalstickman 19
You have my sincere condolences
criley221 19
Congrats on meeting your bio mom. She, for whatever reason, was unfit to be a parent so she did the right thing by letting you get adopted by good parents. Who cares what she looks like or what her hobbies/interests are. Not all Americans are 300 lbs and Twilight fans. In fact, many Americans would like to see these idiots euthanized. Just be glad she lives in a different country than you, but please, don't look at her and assume all Americans share her interests or eating habits...
raven_yeany 18
Must be nice to have a mom. && You got two!!
yahtzeesouls 12
Aren't all Americans 400 pounds?
Taurus_ChicKa 37
She gives Twilight fans a bad name.