Today, after carefully, and might I say, expertly removing all the hair from my girlfriend's genitals, she decided to try and "Nair" my balls. 24 hours later and I still can't walk properly and my balls look like they were involved in a severe kitchen incident. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm aging, so it’s clear my ball skin has got more rough, and I can't even shave anymore without bad razor burn. Well, I tried Nair for the first time. My balls are now severely chemically burned and blistered. It was just 4 minutes of Nair! I was finally getting my sex drive back after a divorce, so I was trying to be ready just in case. FML
Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML
Today, as I was bent over drying my legs after a shower, my girlfriend snuck behind me and pulled a hair off my ballsack for absolutely no good reason. FML
Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML
Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML
Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML
Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML
Today, I got an allergic reaction to Nair. It was so bad I had to have my girlfriend take me to the hospital at 2am. Where was the allergic reaction? On my nuts. FML
Today, I tried to manscape with some Nair. Nothing helps the pain. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I saw each other naked for the first time. She said my balls looked like little acorns. FML
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Top comments
9a_1z 12
I thought everyone had read that amusing amazon review from the guy who nair-ed his balls. I believe it ended with 'DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.'. The internet is trying to help you man.
Redoxx_fml 22
Just what kind of kitchen accidents do you get into?
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Comments (86)
inolongercare 19
That's why the bottle says "not to be used in sensitive areas"
Slavgaard 16
Chemicals and genitals are bad... mkay
CliffyB03 28
Apart from all the levels in a relationship. I'd rather be on the level of "poop with the door open" than be on this level
thecrumbs 0
Dude it says right on the bottle to not use on the genitals.
BadKitty13 28
Y.D.I. sorry u deserved it
sturschaedel 27
The only reason for infections caused by shaving I can think about is using the wrong kind of foam/soap. If you are sensitive to it, using foam or soap with the wrong PH level can upset the natural acidity of the ****** and cause yeast infections. Use products that are made for use around your vulva and there shouldn't be a problem. As with STDs: good to know hair protects from them. Next I'll start using toupees instead of condoms *eye roll*.
asdadfhowrh 23
You had the balls to go through this experience.
sammyrose552 5
your girl friend has genitals?
Keiraquarium 12
Why do you seem so surprised?
writerchic85 26
I'll never understand the appeal of shaving each other. You have to get in pretty unattractive positions to shave your privates and then there is hair sticking all over things. Not sexy.
tiredofwaiting 25
That is why you do the patch test first