Today, after carefully, and might I say, expertly removing all the hair from my girlfriend's genitals, she decided to try and "Nair" my balls. 24 hours later and I still can't walk properly and my balls look like they were involved in a severe kitchen incident. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm aging, so it’s clear my ball skin has got more rough, and I can't even shave anymore without bad razor burn. Well, I tried Nair for the first time. My balls are now severely chemically burned and blistered. It was just 4 minutes of Nair! I was finally getting my sex drive back after a divorce, so I was trying to be ready just in case. FML
Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML
Today, as I was bent over drying my legs after a shower, my girlfriend snuck behind me and pulled a hair off my ballsack for absolutely no good reason. FML
Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML
Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML
Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML
Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML
Today, I got an allergic reaction to Nair. It was so bad I had to have my girlfriend take me to the hospital at 2am. Where was the allergic reaction? On my nuts. FML
Today, I tried to manscape with some Nair. Nothing helps the pain. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I saw each other naked for the first time. She said my balls looked like little acorns. FML
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Top comments
9a_1z 12
I thought everyone had read that amusing amazon review from the guy who nair-ed his balls. I believe it ended with 'DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.'. The internet is trying to help you man.
Redoxx_fml 22
Just what kind of kitchen accidents do you get into?
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Comments (86)
SleevelessD 6
I do it all the time. No longer than 5 minutes bro.
SuperCasual 13
Easiest way to prevent stds is to not sleep with someone who has stds
justsayingbeach 15
Why couldn't she do her own? Weird...
derangedplanet 23
I was thinking the same thing. what a strange relationship. just removing each other's body hair....Alrighty then
lulinator 40
What's wrong with removing your partner's body hair? I just shaved my boyfriend's junk the other day. That's pretty much the ultimate in trust: someone else with a sharp blade on your most sensitive area.
chuka81 27
Haven't you heard the popular saying? "Couples that shave together, stay together".
derangedplanet 23
I have not. the enlightenment is, well, hilarious. I can't say I'd ever try shaving eachother. but you know, whatever makes the bond closer XD
ksks1234 33
30-- this is an honest question, I am not trying to make you sound wrong/ odd: is it a sexual thing or what? I love my fiancé and trust him, but I don't even fully trust myself down there.
lulinator 40
Nope, nothing to do with sex. He doesn't like body hair and asked me to shave everything, since it's a little easier for me to see than him trying to bend over and get it all. No different than me shaving his back.
Sweetmia 3
But you're okay with a random stranger waxing your genitals? Not trying to be rude, both situations are kind of weird. XD
BBeffedmylife 28
I laid on the bed as my husband shaved me "down there" I was 8 months pregnant and couldn't do it myself. It was nothing sexual and he still does it for me every once in awhile just because. In a way it's like him pampering me.
phaelnb 26
What!? Where did you get that from!? The same place they tell you circumcision is hygienic?
romegatekeeper 8
WHAT A DUMB **** !!!
tlnorman 18
You should know that you shouldn't put Nair on your genital area in fact I think it says that on the bottle. I mean come on OP it "dissolves" the hair from the area, that should have been an indication not to let her touch your scrotal area with it. Put some cortisone cream on and go to a doctor. This one I'm afraid is "you deserved it" sorry.
pkypereira 11
It does say it on the packaging, "Do not use in genital area or face."
gracehi 33
Your girlfriend's ****** was designed to push out a screaming, thrashing, human being the size of a watermelon. Your balls need to wear a helmet when you play football. And you thought the grooming methods would be the same?
NthDakotaBeaches 12
This is a good analogy but football players actually don't wear cups that much... Sports like baseball and lacrosse are a lot higher risk when it comes to that though
Selene1090 26
I seriously love how you put that. ?
killer0689 20
I really like the way you have expressed yourself. and still came out clean
BlueGiraffe 13
I'd say you guys are really close to each other
datkenna 20
Is shaving each other normal for couples?
NicoleP1993 29
I've never heard of any of my friends who do that, but then again, if they've been together for many years they're probably very comfortable with each other. Or it could be a fetish thing, whatever floats their goat.
derangedplanet 23
Honestly 4 is right. hair is a way of the body defending itself. and waxing can make someone more prone to infections. so can other skin irritants. I don't know about stds but the body does supply hair there for a reason. much like the hair on our heads (used to regulate temperature and partially because natural selection) and the hair on our eyebrows, eyelashes, and in our noses. it all serves a purpose. however we've kinda out grown the necessity of it, as displayed by the fact that many people remove it and survive just fine. and circumcision just makes cleaning easier. not more clean. but from my own experience hair can almost be less hygienic, because things get less clean.