Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because, "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML
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Top comments
thatpianoguy612 0
That. Is. Awesome.
dacho 7
Sex SESSION? What, you pay him for sex, or?
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Comments (92)
alex_mu 0
was I the only to notice that the OP is dude!
123e3 0
Yeah! he's a fag! o.O
silly_kate 0
and is there a problem with OP being gay? seriously, grow the **** up! he's not hurting you by being gay!
SkullKid334 0
Hey you slimy assed pig!!! you got a problem with gays well DO YA yeah im gay so what whoo big deal so go and get a life i find this story kinda cute
schpanki 11
The submitters name is homersgirl so maybe the sex description is just wrong. Also, for all the haters, where did he say he had anything against homosexuals?
MiniatureMayhem 0
Did he then sing the Spiderpig song?
Einstein714 0
go make him a sandwich
kye_kye16 0
lol no its samich
moonlit_manga 0
it's ok. dont take it the wrong way. my boyfriend does something kinda like that. when I sit on his lap, he lightly pinches my thighs, joking ofcourse. I don't care 'cause I'm 118 pounds. your bf loves ya! chill.
Bravesman16 0
that is hilarious!!!!!
dummydory 4
Haha
mrda 0
Session...wow ydi just for calling it that lol
redbluegreen 41
Ever question if you were hogging all the amazing sex? It only makes sense.
Cristaderzi 0
Ummm he was just being cute... Quit being so Emo
moviemaniac97 0
awsome boyfriend lol