Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because, "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML
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Top comments
thatpianoguy612 0
That. Is. Awesome.
dacho 7
Sex SESSION? What, you pay him for sex, or?
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Comments (92)
visage 0
Not much of an FML... at least he didn't roll over to sleep, or ditch oven you!
Shmeaty 0
Dutch not ditch
visage 0
Ohhhhhnooooooes! I'm a fag for a iPhone corrected typo! Whatever shall I do?!
Shmeaty 0
yeah. because I have an iPhone and I'm capable of spelling correctly. that's why you're a fag.
lokik21 0
oh look it's mr.perfect get off your fing high horse this is the Internet no one gives 2 ***** if they said it wrong
paladininwaiting 1
I was wondering about the "session" thingie too.....anyway, let the man run his fantasy, if, as you say, it was amazing. To each their own....
Jarlais 0
don't worry, he just wants you to be a fag... I think he's craving your ****...
visage 0
to make up four da errah I'll blow yous!
snickle_psyche 0
Hahahahahaha, you just wanted to post SOMETHING, but your life doesn't quite suck enough.
RustyGuns 0
Your boyfriend's awesome. Go get him a beer.
LightsOut59 0
Well at least you got laid....