Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because, "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML
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Top comments
thatpianoguy612 0
That. Is. Awesome.
dacho 7
Sex SESSION? What, you pay him for sex, or?
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Comments (92)
lilgazelleX 0
haha, your bf is awesomee! you should start a trend, scream out 'SPIDER PIG, SPIDER PIG, DOES WHATEVER A SPIDER PIG DOES!' the next time you two have sex
gorbeast 0
Hey, Homer cared a lot bout that pig WIN
deegz713 0
ha!
babyphat123 0
personally I would laugh if my boyfriend said that to me after sex. I think that's cute but that's my opinion guys say things like and life go's on.
Blacksteel56 3
i don't know why he would be saying it in a homer simpson voice when it's a quote from south park... but yeah i agree with most of the comments he was just being cute. why so upset?
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
What are you talking about? That quote's from The Simpsons Movie.
CurtisDkidd 0
so... how was his impression?
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
(Comic Book Guy voice) Worst...sex...EVER!
Mourningstar 4
Turn it around on him, tell him he can't enter you without admitting just what a good little piggy he wants to be for you. Just a thought......
hejven 12
That's so funny! Fyl
moo_fish420 3
Spider Pig...Spider Pig, does whatever a Spider Pig does. Can he swing, from a web? No he can't cause he is a Pig. Lookouttttt he is a Spider Pig. LOL