Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on Tinder. After chatting in a pub, we went for a walk at the marina nearby. He tried to have sex with me bareback behind the lighthouse. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on Tinder. After chatting in a pub, we went for a walk at the nearby marina. He tried to have sex with me bareback behind a lighthouse. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy on our third date. We'd just finished having sex and he was blatantly on Tinder right next to me in bed. I literally hadn’t moved yet and he still had a wet boner, and yet he was on Tinder looking for his next hookup. FML
Today, I went on a Tinder date with a guy who insisted that I go with him to his friend's house party to meet people and socialize, as I'm new to the city. When I got there, I realised he had invited two other girls as his date as well. FML
Today, I went on a Tinder date. Sort of. I got ready and went to the bar he'd chosen. I waited 15 minutes for him to show. We exchanged ”Hellos,” then he said he was going to grab a drink and walked off. He didn’t come back. Damn, was it the way I said, “Hello”? FML
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy. We went back to his place, and after getting it on, he rolled onto his back and told me, "You can put that on your Bumble profile, you got a good dicking" then helicoptered his dick around, thinking it was sexy. I missed the last train, so I walked home after that. FML
Today, I hooked up with a guy on Tinder, but halfway through sex, his wife came home. As I stumbled back into my own house, I realised with my new lingerie and two lots of taxi fares, I’d spent £170 and all it got me was one glass of wine, one mouthful of cum, and a black eye from his wife. FML
Today, I saw the guy I met on Tinder and went out with, only to be told “I’m not ready for a relationship, let’s just be friends” out on a date kissing another girl. I interrupted the date to rip him a new one for lying to me, only to be escorted out by the restaurant manager. FML
Today, I went on a date with this really cute guy from a dating app. He'd set the date and told me where to meet him. We met at a coffee shop, and he was an absolute gentleman. Five minutes after the date, I went to message him that I'd enjoyed myself, only to find he'd blocked me on the app. FML
Today, during a Tinder date, the guy spent a solid hour talking about the Tinder date he went on yesterday with someone else. Honestly, I only stayed to the end because the restaurant was excellent. The guy was actually confused when I split the bill and didn’t want to have sex with him. FML
Today, my Tinder date seemed annoyed that my offer of dinner at my house really was an offer of dinner, not easy sex. Apparently, acting like a real woman with a mind and feelings, as opposed to a hole for his penis to temporarily inhabit, completely ruined his night. FML
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Top comments
2deployments1divorce 11
Where in the world is a pub open?
themetropolitan 19
Don't take "today" too litterally. All FML's must start with "today" even if the story actually happened 10 years ago.
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Comments (15)
RichardPencil 32
That's kind of what Tinder is designed for. Is the FML that he didn't have a love-glove or that he didn't ravish you on his yacht?
2deployments1divorce 11
Where in the world is a pub open?
crazy_joe 15
Exactly my thought
themetropolitan 19
Don't take "today" too litterally. All FML's must start with "today" even if the story actually happened 10 years ago.
2deployments1divorce 11
Sweden is the answer though.
MidnaLink 35
Question, did you CONSENT to any sex, bareback or not?
Aaron Smyth 2
booboo you suck
MidnaLink 35
Troll.
jbuckets_404 39
OP, so you're saying that your Tinder date had really bad "bedroom" technique??? Gee, that's too bad. :-( Maybe he just needs more practice - or perhaps said lighthouse was too phallically intimidating for him to perform as intended, no? --Added the apparently necessary: [/S - is for sarcasm; sheesh!]
tounces7 28
First time using Tinder?
WistayShlaio82 13
Where in the world is there a pub still open
jbuckets_404 39
Iran, Russia, and lots of other (totalitarian-run) countries where supposedly there is no coronavirus (per their gov't-owned media outlets)....
Kelsey Johnson 9
so much for social distancing
julfunky 29
I thought that was what Tinder was for. It’s not a hookup thing?
aryania 7
what else do you expect from a dating app.