Today, after a week of looking for my car keys and being forced to drag my family around on public transportation, my wife found the keys in our car's ignition. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML
Today, after locking my keys in the car and waiting three hours for my mom to bring me my spare, I reached into my bag only to find my keys. FML
Today, my wife and I were having a fight, when she grabbed my car keys and threw them over into the neighbors overgrown junk yard. My car is a restored '59 Belvedere and the keys can't be replaced. I've been looking for hours and I still can't find them. FML
Today, after being without my car keys for two days, I finally got a locksmith to unlock my car on the off chance I'd left my keys in there. $170 later, the car was open, but I didn't find my keys. Frustrated, I threw the paperwork in the garbage... where I spotted my keys. FML
Today, I spent five minutes sitting in my car, panicking and tearing my purse apart because I couldn't find my keys. I then found them. They were in the ignition, and the car was running. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML
Today, I went through my purse to see where my keys were. I found my house keys, but not my car keys, so I freaked out. When I remembered that I was driving, I felt stupid. FML
Today, my car keys decided to play hide and seek. Good news: I found them under my bed. Bad news: it was after my job interview was scheduled to start. FML
Today, my toddler thought it would be funny to hide my car keys. After searching for hours, I found them in his toy box. FML
Today, my keys disappeared out of my car door during the 50 foot walk to the trash can. When I finally went to security after trying to find them, they said someone drove off with my car right as I walked in the door. FML
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Top comments
Kaurageous007 12
Didn't you consider checking in your car to begin with? Sorry for the week long nuisance OP, but YDI.
tamie306 5
At least your car wasn't stolen.
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Comments (132)
PaperUmbrellas 4
A day I could understand, but a week? There's no advice anyone can give you other than to be less stupid.
gracehi 33
You, sir, would NOT survive the zombie apocalypse. In fact, I think you'd be the first to go, along with the fatties.
Welshite 40
Never underestimate fat people.
gracehi 33
Well, I suppose fat people would do okay if their crossbow wielding skills are up to par. OP here would probably impale himself, though.
Welshite 40
I can use a bullwhip and throwing knives. Does that count?
gracehi 33
The bullwhip wouldn't do you much good, unless you were using it for things other than direct combat with walkers. It's all about the head shots, so if you have good aim, the throwing knives would work splendidly.
amandajlucas2015 2
I don't think either one of those will help u in a zombie apocalypse.. Get some gun 101 training and learn to shoot
hatesfate 6
Fail all around gracehi.... 1) there is that fat black dude in presumably your favorite zombie series who's still alive 2) the OP could never impale herself, himself maybe...
gracehi 33
You, my dear, also would not make it. Everyone knows loud noises attracts walkers. You better get a silencer for that gun of yours or you'll be overwhelmed by a herd in seconds.
gracehi 33
78, I was referring to "Zombieland" in my original comment. "The fatties were the first to go." Hence, rule #1: Cardio. In subsequent comments I referred to "The Walking Dead." Along with my Daryl Dixon pic, I can see how that would confuse you. And yes, T-Dog is still alive...for now. O.O
gracehi 33
Btw, I did say "impale himself." Make sure you've read a comment properly before you correct it. You end up looking foolish otherwise.
GUNN1313 3
Thank you #77 every one thinks that just having a gun will be good enough. As a firearms instructor I will tell you head shots are not going to happen with out lots of training. Plus having lots of ammo is a must.
dabeast15 7
Be thankful some bitch didn't take it
KiddNYC1O 22
Bitches be crazy.
mowmowlife 21
You're special. We understand.
CptZoe 10
I see this as more of a MGIL (My God I'm Lucky)!!
KM96 24
Maybe check there first next time :) Sorry to hear OP
uzairmacy 5
Man you put some real effort in looking for those keys sorry you didn't find them
BubbaJ80 11
Could have had a key made smart guy
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
How could you not have possibly checked there? How silly of you
01sparkly 15
You know when I'm older I'm going to check the ignition before I look anywhere else...