Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML
Today, as I was hanging washing out in the sun, a huge cicada flew into my face and somehow got behind my glasses. I screamed and ripped them off and ran away. I came back to a broken pair of VERY expensive glasses. FML
Today, a gnat hit my forehead, fell into the space between my glasses and my face, and bounced off my eye while trying desperately to escape. When I tried to get my glasses off, it fell into my mask instead, and I accidentally inhaled it. FML
Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML
Today, there was a gigantic wasp in my room. It stupidly flew upwards and got hit by the rotating fan. It then immediately decided to take it's revenge by stinging me. FML
Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML
Today, I was stung by a wasp. Startled, I stumbled and grabbed a nearby tree branch to regain my balance. The branch happened to be the location of the wasp's nest, which fell to the ground and split open. The wasps weren't happy. FML
Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
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Top comments
Redlawnchair 9
Seriously awesome mental image.
packrat 26
Next time "bee" careful!
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Comments (80)
sig4life 18
I am not sure, but sounds like the beginning of a country song, A crappy one though, the voice is a little waspy or raspy.
BreannaLeeRenee 18
ouch nigga
brierpoop 4
Once, while at the park a wasp landed on my leg. **** that. I didn't try and kill it. I read somewhere that when you kill them they let out pheremone and a bunch of other wasps show up. No thanks. Definitely not. I let that sucker sit there
vinnieboJ 12
Well, that escalated quickly...
perdix 31
Hey, we thought you were dead! Have you been hanging out with Elvis and Janis Joplin?
buckdharma 38
Wild thing, you make my eye sting you make a everything, woozy
Pandora_UK 7
Best comment award right there
natalalaliee 9
Who still wears glasses?
onorexveritas 24
you went down with style
toaster012 17
I HATE that species!
Satoaoi 13
violent wasps. can't trust em I tell yuh