Today, a riot broke out while I was on shift at the community swimming pool. A family snuck in soap so they could use the pool as a giant bath tub. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I was verbally and physically attacked in a public pool, because I was swimming in what a grandma claimed was her part of the pool. Since I'm a very tolerant person, I calmly tried to talk some reason into the elderly lady. The lifeguard had to come to protect me. FML
Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML
Today, I work for the local fire department. I had a long call and I was hot and sweaty. I decided to skinny dip in my pool because it was still dark out. Everything went great untill my flood light went on and my dad ran out with a bat. I got smacked in the side with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I was excited to finally use the expensive bath bombs I'd been saving. I filled the tub, dropped one in, and settled in for a relaxing soak. The bath bomb fizzed so much that it created a bubble mountain that spilled over, flooding my bathroom with colorful suds. My "relaxing" bath turned into a Slip 'N Slide adventure as I tried to mop up the mess in my birthday suit. FML
Today, a couple yelled at me and reported me to the homeowner association for "watching them make out" at the pool. I'm the lifeguard. FML
Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TheGenius 1
Hmm, where do you live exactly? I think I know some people that would do this.
SorrowFull 8
why the pool, when the can use the showers in the pool house? Were they wearing their clothes so they could do their laundry at the same time?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (174)
Taciturnbadger 0
That is several kinds of disgusting..
JokeMeister 0
did u point them to the showers or just throw them out I wonder. I'm sure they would have done somethiing else, if only to avoid possible embarrassment. must b going through very hard times.
cynide 13
hey atleast they are clean!
HU4L188 0
ghetto as hell
volley4eva1698 0
hey it's a comment not about sexual things from boners!
Thakidkeeykey 0
that's nasty.
ryno2004 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I bet I can tell you what race they are...
RyNo24 4
haha moderated... lame.
RyNo24 4
good thing I have more than one account
an9876 0
PUBLIC BATHING!!!!!!!
SteelCladAngel 0
ew don't homeless shelters and Womens shelters provide showers? not to mention most truck stops ((at least in our area)) have showers you can pay less than 1$ to use and most pools are 2-3$ per person around here.... so they just dicked themselves out of a few dollars and their dignity to bath in water people piss and **** in
cherry72 13
it's $10-15 per person on the average @ truck stops. I used to date a trucker and went along with him from Oklahoma to California.
Eiregal 7
what the hell is that in your photo! it looks like some went a left you a nicely decorated shite
SteelCladAngel 0
it's a cinnamon roll lol and my exs mom worked at a truck stop it was cheap to shower there ((their water pipes burst one winter and they used the truck stop showers)) and they were really clean showers
The_Weirdo 10
You have to pay to get into a pool? They are free here.
Monii_Harlz 11
whaaat? I'm jealous ^^^ we gotta pay $6per person in WA
SteelCladAngel 0
yea we gotta pay the city needs money to pay for pool chemicals an upkeep
epiikgangster11 2
I don't see the problem