Today, a riot broke out while I was on shift at the community swimming pool. A family snuck in soap so they could use the pool as a giant bath tub. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I was verbally and physically attacked in a public pool, because I was swimming in what a grandma claimed was her part of the pool. Since I'm a very tolerant person, I calmly tried to talk some reason into the elderly lady. The lifeguard had to come to protect me. FML
Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML
Today, I work for the local fire department. I had a long call and I was hot and sweaty. I decided to skinny dip in my pool because it was still dark out. Everything went great untill my flood light went on and my dad ran out with a bat. I got smacked in the side with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I was excited to finally use the expensive bath bombs I'd been saving. I filled the tub, dropped one in, and settled in for a relaxing soak. The bath bomb fizzed so much that it created a bubble mountain that spilled over, flooding my bathroom with colorful suds. My "relaxing" bath turned into a Slip 'N Slide adventure as I tried to mop up the mess in my birthday suit. FML
Today, a couple yelled at me and reported me to the homeowner association for "watching them make out" at the pool. I'm the lifeguard. FML
Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML
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Top comments
TheGenius 1
Hmm, where do you live exactly? I think I know some people that would do this.
SorrowFull 8
why the pool, when the can use the showers in the pool house? Were they wearing their clothes so they could do their laundry at the same time?
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Comments (174)
TheGenius 1
Hmm, where do you live exactly? I think I know some people that would do this.
partyfool2011 4
*gulp*
kendallhi 9
great
shybear15 0
op lives in Texas
TheGenius 1
I noticed that. I live in Texas too. I meant more specifically.
KingGeorgeGal 12
Some people just do not know how to respect the community, smh.
dolphincheddar 10
your profile says you live in somewhere you liar! I've always wanted to go to somewhere, I heard the stuff and things and shenanigans are good yet bad or something. I dunno, meth confuses you here and there, but yea, you live in somewhere, not Texas :O and that's a great Idea though,. I think the people who invented those tasty mints that you leave in the urinal for an after-snack thought of it first
JacksonCampbell 9
Sounds like Vancouver.
yummycupkake 0
did they have that chemical in the pool that makes urine blue, too?
mexicotoucher 7
I was wondering the same thing. Where on earth are people so angry that they start a riot because there are bubbles in the water?
vistamar 3
44-...what?
dolphincheddar 10
quiet 93 you will wake the snow yeti slumbering beneath your house
birdfreak 24
texas people are amazing. therefore im amazing : )
imthatguythatdid 0
Texas is beast
ChickenInMyKitch 4
when I think of Texas I think of sandy from spongebob....
ahotgeek 0
44, ur an idiot
dolphincheddar 10
and why is voicing your opinion of me both necessary or contributive to the topic? I also don't really give a squirrels nut. but you can go ahead and make yourself look like an ass :)
NuTrees 9
#44 You be spot on with that I follow you. these chicken heads they don't even leave the coup.
MrFlintstone 5
see you guys op lives 5 miles away from the border and the family were some illegal aliens that didnt know any better.
rogerusmc23 0
texas is lamee.. (:
jonathan6773 5
Who uses soap in the pool as a bath tub? All that feces and bacteria. You're just washing yourself in bleach and other people's filth. Sounds disgusting.
Uscdrew1 7
Am I the only one who actually knew that 44 was making a joke and am I also the only one who got a laugh out of it?
hannahtaskey 9
A lot of people would do that haha...
xXshadowrollerXx 6
129 - No, you weren't. It was a good effort. :)
EpicPear 0
I wanna do that, but with gallons of bubble bath liquid! Epic.
cenax27 0
nice pic :)
techweed 12
Damn moochers!!!
Big_Red_138 3
Hey at least they're that desperate to get clean...maybe the riot broke out because everyone was fighting over the soap.
cenax27 0
I hate them dam moochers
ghm1234 0
I love(!) your picture.
mruizk9 7
u gotta do what u gotta do
atroxletum 6
*you *you, again.
mruizk9 7
who cares! people get the point. if ur going to be anal bout grammar and spelling, do it somewhere else!
DocBastard 40
Oh no, another anti-Grammar Nazi! Run for your lives! Listen mruizk, if you're going to hang around here, you need to realise there are people around who DO care about grammar and spelling. If you don't want to hear the complaints, either stay away or ignore it.
dolphincheddar 10
that and make fun of them behind their back for actually caring about something of little importance, but ya. some people got dropped on the head as a baby and enjoy correcting others to make themselves think they are good at grammar. you obviously spelled "u" like that on purpose. so ignore it and move on lol
dolphincheddar 10
also 37. "gotta" is not an actual word. so if you wish to successfully kill all bad grammet like a true natzi, you would have realized the correct term is "got to", or in proper english, "have to". good day to you fine douche licker
rooneyroo 0
gotta is a word in the dictionary.
HelloNoora1 0
You can't use TXT talk in the comments, it's one of the policies.
EmyB_fml 8
ahahaha that is just too funny - i want to try that so bad now.
dolphincheddar 10
rooney. oh is it? I see. and 63 licking douches isn't as fun as it sounds
Eiregal 7
oh god I love reading FML comments when spelling and grammar wars start, so much fun to read!
Dirgel 4
The safety net of anonymity. I have had my grammar corrected many times online but never once to my face. And before you sound like an imbecile and say that's because people face to face aren't reading what you write, know that I type up the majority of the signs at work.
WishResign 0
52, you forgot the comma after the word 'you' in your last sentence & the word 'English' should be capitalized. As well, you have a completely misplaced period at the beginning of your failed attempt at grammar superiority. Don't be lazy if you're going to correct someone. It defeats the purpose & it makes you seem moronic.
dolphincheddar 10
I don't care about grammar. I just find it funny when people do, also, you are easily trolled. or are you ;)
WishResign 0
actually ignore my last comment. I mistook 52 for a grammar nazi when it was actually #37... sorry 52, wrong person ;)
dolphincheddar 10
I don't care about grammar. I just find it funny when people do, also, you are easily trolled. or are you ;)
dolphincheddar 10
it's ok. :P
dolphincheddar 10
it's ok 86, also, way to make that guy yell at his cereal :P
cheer_coach 0
43 - check out your own mistakes before you point out others. the correct spelling is 'realize', not 'realise'. get it right bitch :)
KiddNYC1O 22
115- You are dumb. You are so dumb. The English spell it with an s. Do some research before posting absurd shit.
sadistmonkey 19
Docbastard - Using your exact same logic, if you're going to hang around here, you need to realize there are trolls. If you don't want to see those kinds of comments, either stay away or ignore it.
DocBastard 40
Sadist, I've been around here long enough to know exactly the kind of commenters there are. The trolls amuse me almost as much as the idiots. If I ignored them, how would I have fun? :)
sadistmonkey 19
Point taken.
Rico_Mal1116 0
Wtf? who does that?! If you can't beat em' join em'.
dolphincheddar 10
Rico who did you steal that car from? I want his address so I can get one too
plum_lovin 28
Why not just use the showers, go swimming, and then use the showers again. All for the same price. Lol. Truthfully I would totally use the pool showers if I didn't have any other way to get clean.
A7X_LoVeee 10
Ah from Texas. No surprises there.
SpeakingMyMind 0
Stereotyping just makes you seem uneducated as well as an asshole.
A7X_LoVeee 10
I wasn't being serious. Shit, calm down.
dolphincheddar 10
65 - why are you telling your own shit to calm down?
smeesha 4
what did she/he say
schpanki 11
what a brilliant idea, just open a comminty bath for everyone. Problem solved, everyone is happy :)
Truth_Nazi 0
They had those in ancient Greece, prisons originally had baths but it didn't induce enough prison rapes
Mrrevorp 0
umm eww
theten_fml 9
eh sounds pretty disgusting
arrow007archer 19
its actually pretty dangerous when i was 10 i climbed steps to a water slide (small one in the pool) and some kid dropped a bar of soap on the slide ( no idea why he had it in the first place) and i slid on it and hit my 2 front teeth off a step. they both got shoved up my gums and had to get them pulled down which hurt like hell and now (4 years later) im going to have to get one off them removed. If you are not carefull it could be very dangerous and could lead to accidents like mine.
holybuckets 0
It makes sense to me! what a great way to conserve water.
metallicshadow 16
not like they'll be any cleaner...
xxkatastrophiexx 0
haha.never thought of that before
SorrowFull 8
why the pool, when the can use the showers in the pool house? Were they wearing their clothes so they could do their laundry at the same time?
skyeyez9 25
I think they did it more as a prank. If you dump a bunch of laundry detergent into the pool, it will create a ton of bubbles.