Today, a really cute guy sat across from me on the bus. He smiled at me, then tensed his muscles and lifted a heavy bag with one arm. Thinking he was trying to act "macho" to impress me, I rolled my eyes and threw him an annoyed/disgusted look. When he got off, I realized he only had one arm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Today, I saw a cute guy on the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back. After a couple of stops, he got off the bus. He bumped into me, turned around, apologized, and winked. I stood there feeling good about myself. Then I realized he stole my wallet. FML
Today, I saw a man on the bus with the strangest band shirt I have ever seen. I couldn't help but stare at it and try and figure out what the band was… until he turned to me and said, "Why not take a picture, asshole?" then got off the bus. As he walked away, I saw that he was missing an arm. FML
Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus and as I'm quite short my legs were dangling. Some guy, who wasn't looking where he was going, tripped over my foot and went flying. He and everyone else on the bus glared at me like it was deliberate. The man next to me even changed seats in disgust. FML
Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML
Today, I was riding on my usual bus, when I noticed a man staring at me. I was having a really bad day, and said "Can you please stop staring at me?" He then replied with "I'm just trying to look out the window, and your head is in the way. Don't flatter yourself." FML
Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
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Top comments
woofer_fml 0
wow. first of all, even if he was trying to charm you, to seem "macho" you should have enjoyed the sentiment of it. second your a total turdwad, for rolling your eyes, thinkin' your better than him, that makes you a double turdwad. YDI imagine how you must have made him feel for being a normal person. turdwad.
amy_shmamy 0
first you say theres a really cure guy that sat across from you and then you roll your eyes at him?
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Comments (103)
kylegavine 0
Ohhh that sucks. You should have just smiled!!!
dwights 0
11 let the truth be heard! also this is just the guarantee fml format like the emperors formula to prefect star wars dialog. instead of "something something DARK SIDE something something COMPLETE". Its "Some Bitch ON A BUS thinks she is all that andd GETS WHAT THEY DESERVED"
nuga 0
I don't get why you'd roll your eyes at him; even if he had been trying to act 'macho' you should have just been flattered that he wanted to impress you at all. Personally, I would have thought it was stupid but kind of cute.
Flargon 0
Why are there so many girls who are so full of themselves? It's disgusting.
SallyRagDoll 0
Can you be anymore of a bitch? YDI totally!
CodyGuitarist 0
Honestly, I thought this was hilarious. You must have felt like such a jackass.
mehwhateverr 0
go back and read #5's post.
Quinnjamin 0
Stupid
salamander_fml 0
You's a bitch
jessxoxo28 5
u r so freakin mean!!!!