Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while on break from work, I went to the cafeteria and bought cheese cubes. One of my coworkers, who is usually very pleasant, asked to try some and I said yes. She ate all the cheddar cubes in the bowl, which are the only ones I like. I wasted $3 for someone else to eat my food. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, while working, a woman complained that she didn't ask for sauce on her sandwich. After examining the sandwich, I realized it was just melted cheese. When I told her, she threw the sandwich at me. FML
Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML
Today, my family had an argument with me because I bought the wrong kind of cheese. They never said what kind they wanted. The argument ended with my mother saying that she wished she could kill herself, because of how horrible of a person I am. FML
Today, my cousin came by to visit, and we went out to a pizza restaurant for dinner. She’s a very picky eater, so much so that she takes the cheese off the pizza, despite me politely asking her not to. One of the chefs walks by, sees it, and yells, “What have you done to my beautiful pizza!?” at us. FML
Today, I went to work. All day, all I wanted to eat was my favorite cheese, which was waiting for me at home. I came home and someone had eaten it, then put the empty wrapper back in the fridge. FML
Today, while at the local supermarket, I spotted an attractive woman packing food into a shelf. Trying to be flirty, I asked where I could find the cream cheese. Apparently, it was on the shelf right behind me. I heard her mutter "idiot" under her breath. FML
Today, a customer complained that her salad had "too much lettuce." Her bowl was less than half-filled with lettuce and the rest was cheese. FML
Today, at work, a woman came up to the snack bar and ordered a pretzel with no salt. When I served her the food, she angrily complained about it having no salt, followed by her throwing the whole thing in my face. FML
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Top comments
krushr 3
I can't believe how selfish you are. Didn't your mother teach you to ALWAYS have an assortment of cheeses on hand for such occasions? Sheesh.
AnonymousTroll 2
I can make a cheesy one liner about this, but I'd rather not...
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Comments (200)
hateevryone 15
first of all, how is she going to come over YOUR house asking for some cheese? second of all, how is she going to get mad cause you don't have the type that she wants? tell her to take her ass to the damn grocery store!! smh
J3R3MYY 14
OP, if you want you can have my cheese. I have a lot for some reason, not just chedder either.
J3R3MYY 14
1-800-chokedathoe! That should do the trick.
ninjuh_wingman 29
So she just walked into your house over to your refrigerator? Who the hell does that?
FroHo 8
Cosmo Kramer ;)
MyS3lf 24
This is why I never bother talking to the neighbors. I do not want some weirdo thinking it's ok to stop in just because they happen to live near me. I hate people, and that chick would have lasted about 2 seconds in my home after treating me like that. My advice to you is, don't let the crazy b***h back in your house.
maryam8869 7
hahahaha .. thats crazy
kirsty1551 3
she must have really needed that cheese.
Savra_fml 17
Go to her house and ask to borrow some money. When she offers you $10, angrily refuse it, go through her purse and the yell at her for not having just hundreds.
DallasMavs 3
How do you allow her to into your home like that?
killak41 9
Sometimes you just need to slap a hoe
abceasyas123abc 12
She's not a gardening tool.
killak41 9
Glad you could figure that one out
FarSide 23
@66: You're a tool.
abceasyas123abc 12
Killak41, I'm detecting some sarcasm in your comment. You know "hoes" are gardening tools, right? They are distinct from "hos" who feel entitled to the contents of their neighbors' refrigerators.
Torva_fml 16
What the **** is wrong with you?! Who DOESN'T have an assortment of cheese in their fridge?!