Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while on break from work, I went to the cafeteria and bought cheese cubes. One of my coworkers, who is usually very pleasant, asked to try some and I said yes. She ate all the cheddar cubes in the bowl, which are the only ones I like. I wasted $3 for someone else to eat my food. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, while working, a woman complained that she didn't ask for sauce on her sandwich. After examining the sandwich, I realized it was just melted cheese. When I told her, she threw the sandwich at me. FML
Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML
Today, my family had an argument with me because I bought the wrong kind of cheese. They never said what kind they wanted. The argument ended with my mother saying that she wished she could kill herself, because of how horrible of a person I am. FML
Today, my cousin came by to visit, and we went out to a pizza restaurant for dinner. She’s a very picky eater, so much so that she takes the cheese off the pizza, despite me politely asking her not to. One of the chefs walks by, sees it, and yells, “What have you done to my beautiful pizza!?” at us. FML
Today, I went to work. All day, all I wanted to eat was my favorite cheese, which was waiting for me at home. I came home and someone had eaten it, then put the empty wrapper back in the fridge. FML
Today, while at the local supermarket, I spotted an attractive woman packing food into a shelf. Trying to be flirty, I asked where I could find the cream cheese. Apparently, it was on the shelf right behind me. I heard her mutter "idiot" under her breath. FML
Today, a customer complained that her salad had "too much lettuce." Her bowl was less than half-filled with lettuce and the rest was cheese. FML
Today, at work, a woman came up to the snack bar and ordered a pretzel with no salt. When I served her the food, she angrily complained about it having no salt, followed by her throwing the whole thing in my face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
krushr 3
I can't believe how selfish you are. Didn't your mother teach you to ALWAYS have an assortment of cheeses on hand for such occasions? Sheesh.
AnonymousTroll 2
I can make a cheesy one liner about this, but I'd rather not...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (200)
cheeez4u 8
Are you ******* kidding me?!? Where in the world does shit like this happen? If someone barged past me INTO MY HOME. You bet your sweet ass I would have ****** their world up. Just me I guess.
Savra_fml 17
Personally, I understand what you want to say....but your name is "cheeez4u". OPs neighbor could take that as a sign that you offer cheese to people.
Randomnessmoi 0
And you just let him/her barge in??
Cinn_fml 23
This is when you point out that she's gone way beyond the point you want to be hospitable towards, and if she's still unreasonable then kick her out. Because if she acts like that all the time, you don't really want to keep inviting her into your house. And if she barges in, start locking the doors (and windows), and inform the police.
perdix 31
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give Edam."
perdix 31
I really thought this comment would do better. I thoroughly enjoyed writing it.
alice18_fml 6
what the ****? why did you let her in
BabyMimi00 12
Remind her that beggars can't be choosers. If she want's an assortment of cheese, she should buy it her damn self.
SouthernKiller 4
I'm say YDI cause you put up wit it. That deserves a instant beatdown.
tuyetnhung95 3
WTF! I would kick her out, dude she has no right to go into your home and yell at u for what u don't have.
Epikouros 32
You could be a good neighbor and give her some Ped Egg shavings to help her out...
eccles 17
Mental problems or just assholeishness? Only the internet knows for sure!