Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while on break from work, I went to the cafeteria and bought cheese cubes. One of my coworkers, who is usually very pleasant, asked to try some and I said yes. She ate all the cheddar cubes in the bowl, which are the only ones I like. I wasted $3 for someone else to eat my food. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, while working, a woman complained that she didn't ask for sauce on her sandwich. After examining the sandwich, I realized it was just melted cheese. When I told her, she threw the sandwich at me. FML
Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML
Today, my family had an argument with me because I bought the wrong kind of cheese. They never said what kind they wanted. The argument ended with my mother saying that she wished she could kill herself, because of how horrible of a person I am. FML
Today, my cousin came by to visit, and we went out to a pizza restaurant for dinner. She’s a very picky eater, so much so that she takes the cheese off the pizza, despite me politely asking her not to. One of the chefs walks by, sees it, and yells, “What have you done to my beautiful pizza!?” at us. FML
Today, I went to work. All day, all I wanted to eat was my favorite cheese, which was waiting for me at home. I came home and someone had eaten it, then put the empty wrapper back in the fridge. FML
Today, while at the local supermarket, I spotted an attractive woman packing food into a shelf. Trying to be flirty, I asked where I could find the cream cheese. Apparently, it was on the shelf right behind me. I heard her mutter "idiot" under her breath. FML
Today, a customer complained that her salad had "too much lettuce." Her bowl was less than half-filled with lettuce and the rest was cheese. FML
Today, at work, a woman came up to the snack bar and ordered a pretzel with no salt. When I served her the food, she angrily complained about it having no salt, followed by her throwing the whole thing in my face. FML
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Top comments
krushr 3
I can't believe how selfish you are. Didn't your mother teach you to ALWAYS have an assortment of cheeses on hand for such occasions? Sheesh.
AnonymousTroll 2
I can make a cheesy one liner about this, but I'd rather not...
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Comments (200)
kristat 14
Psycho.
Judasxoxo_tooGay 0
the hell thats meen *sad face* have her go buy some cheese for you :-)
yellowzinnias 20
This is what happens when a country turns socialist...she obviously thought you were doing better than she is, so of COURSE you MUST supply her with cheese, because YOU have cheese and SHE doesn't! How dare you! And since she's entitled to your cheese, she's also entitled to tell you what KIND of cheese you must give her! Psh.
Paulacookie 18
Except that this situation probably had nothing to do with socialism. :/
LolLoree 0
What the lump? Kick her outta your house!!!
FroHo 8
Go to her house and burst in her door, screaming: «Y U NO MAKE ME SANDWICH?!» acting all crazy as she did.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Neighbor- "Do you have any cheese?" OP- "Yeah, baby. Just look under my nuts." That's how I imagine the porno would start..
btgballer 0
YDI for not having the cheese
graham11 14
Crazy bitch. I'd give her some milk and tell her to make her own assortment of cheese
jmad29 2
I'd kick the hoe out for storming into my house acting like that, especially for something she didn't pay fir
blackman100 20
Ya thats ok. You can just walk into my house and go through my fridge and then bitch me out for not having what you want.