Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, while on break from work, I went to the cafeteria and bought cheese cubes. One of my coworkers, who is usually very pleasant, asked to try some and I said yes. She ate all the cheddar cubes in the bowl, which are the only ones I like. I wasted $3 for someone else to eat my food. FML
Touch crowd
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
How very dare you?
Today, while working, a woman complained that she didn't ask for sauce on her sandwich. After examining the sandwich, I realized it was just melted cheese. When I told her, she threw the sandwich at me. FML
Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML
All over cheese?
Today, my family had an argument with me because I bought the wrong kind of cheese. They never said what kind they wanted. The argument ended with my mother saying that she wished she could kill herself, because of how horrible of a person I am. FML
Channeling Gordon Ramsay
Today, my cousin came by to visit, and we went out to a pizza restaurant for dinner. She’s a very picky eater, so much so that she takes the cheese off the pizza, despite me politely asking her not to. One of the chefs walks by, sees it, and yells, “What have you done to my beautiful pizza!?” at us. FML
MY CHEESE!
Today, I went to work. All day, all I wanted to eat was my favorite cheese, which was waiting for me at home. I came home and someone had eaten it, then put the empty wrapper back in the fridge. FML
Smooth
Today, while at the local supermarket, I spotted an attractive woman packing food into a shelf. Trying to be flirty, I asked where I could find the cream cheese. Apparently, it was on the shelf right behind me. I heard her mutter "idiot" under her breath. FML
Today, a customer complained that her salad had "too much lettuce." Her bowl was less than half-filled with lettuce and the rest was cheese. FML
Today, at work, a woman came up to the snack bar and ordered a pretzel with no salt. When I served her the food, she angrily complained about it having no salt, followed by her throwing the whole thing in my face. FML
Top comments
krushr 3
I can't believe how selfish you are. Didn't your mother teach you to ALWAYS have an assortment of cheeses on hand for such occasions? Sheesh.
AnonymousTroll 2
I can make a cheesy one liner about this, but I'd rather not...
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Comments (200)
Almanzire2 5
And you just stood there like an idiot? What is she doing in your fridge anyways?
wittygirl 8
Sign her up for the nut house with the mom who went postal for an open toothpaste bottle.. They can be bunk mates
AunteyN 4
Well she obviously doesn't have an assortment of cheeses either, since she came over to borrow yours.
CeeCeebabyy4 0
Lol I love cheese
pandashinny 0
If you lived in wisconsinn I'd hope you'd have a large assortment of cheese
hauntslider 0
That why I don't talk to my neighboors,
futurecatlady 2
At least she didn't ask for eggs.
Nicoyamom 0
She has some nerve....
Uvabunchies 0
Yet she has absolutely NO CHEESE herself - definitely not an assortment of cheeses - so she has to ask for yours and yell at you when you don't have an assortment after she rudely snoops through your fridge. If the bitch wants an assortment so damn bad then maybe she should buy her own damn cheese.
HellOnWheels357 11
Wow.. Are you serious? That actually pisses me off a bit. I can't believe your neighbor.. She handled that really well. YOU SHOULD HAVE MORE ******* CHEESE