Today, a homeless man bathed himself in the restroom at my coffee shop in West LA. He locked himself in there for a good twenty minutes. The lingering smell was so strong that my other coworker vomited. Thanks to what is apparently a relatively strong gag reflex, I got to clean up. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML
Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML
Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML
Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML
Today, I was working the night shift when a guy came in smelling like alcohol. He kept muttering his order, so I leaned over the register to hear him better. My ear now smells of vomit. FML
Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML
Today, I spent an hour and twenty minutes throwing up at a toilet from a shopping mall because I ate rotten food without realizing it. At least during that time I made two new friends, a gay couple who were making out in the next toilet cubicle. FML
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Top comments
Jaywin 3
#4 and #5 you both obviously haven't had extended periods of time with the homeless. They gather around my university campus and do nothing but beg, yell, and grab random people for no reason. If you two are so high and mighty wishing this fate upon me because "I don't know their situation" why aren't you two out there personally helping the homeless? When was the last time you let a homeless dude into your house to bathe and gave him a meal? You're no different from everyone else who walks by them without a second glance, so stop pretending you're a better person by "sympathizing".
anjyu22 0
You think your life sucks, think about how the homeless guy must feel. He has to smell himself every day.
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Comments (97)
asttro_boy 0
#13 (or Jaywin) I will not pretend to know you or your situation with the homeless. But I WILL judge what you write. So do NOT try to pretend you know me or what I do in my daily basis to help the homeless. Because I can assure you, you have absolutely no idea.
TheDrifter 24
Is that the currently popular way of saying "F off, I don't have to spend my time or money, my self righteous preaching is worth more than any volunteer"?
asttro_boy 0
LOLOL @ #15!!!!!!!!!!!
musu_fml 0
#1: I don't know how it is in other countries, but I have a very low level of sympathy for homeless people in my country (the UK), as the welfare system in place here is so extensive and catch-all that the only people who live this homeless lifestyle must be those who are choosing to do so, or who are mentally ill (who I do reserve sympathy for).
elfuzzo 0
#22 speaks the truth. People are usually homeless for a reason: Laziness and/or bad decisions.
goathumpy 0
#15 = win
lostmymind16 0
"today i had to bathe in a coffee shop restroom, because i had not bathed in so long, the smell coming off of me made an employee throw up." FML we dont know the situation of the homeless person and the reason that thier homeless, we just know they had to stoop that low to get clean, which sucks for them. sucks you had to clean up the vomit, but at least you have a home to wash yourself in later.
poobear 0
you dont become homeless by making good decisions. one of my friends used to be homeless for a year a while back and he fully admits that it was his fault and all the homeless people he met were in some way responsible for being homeless. i dont know why people are giving you props for letting him bathe thats disgusting and unprofessional if i saw that i would never ever set foot in your shop again
bretty_boieeeeyy 0
in the FML the sentence locked himself in there jumps out at me
nightngale 0
#22 and 26, you guys are SO way off, it's comical and shameful. Your statements are pure prejudice against the homeless with absolutely no data to back it up. Homelessness as a result of laziness? Please. No one chooses to be homeless. If it really was an issue of laziness, one night on the street would straighten someone out. Here are some facts so that you can educate yourself: http://www.policyalmanac.org/social_welfare/homeless.shtml 44 percent did paid work during the past month. (Clearly they're not lazy if they are working) 66 percent of the homeless have problems with alcohol, drug abuse, or mental illness. (These are diseases NOT choices. Pick up a biology or psychology textbook and learn something). Battered women who live in poverty are often forced to choose between abusive relationships and homelessness. In a study of 777 homeless parents (the majority of whom were mothers) in ten U.S. cities, 22% said they had left their last place of residence because of domestic violence (Homes for the Homeless, 1998) Approximately 16% of the single adult homeless population suffers from some form of severe and persistent mental illness (U.S. Conference of Mayors, 2005) Approximately 200,000 individuals with schizophrenia or manic-depressive illness are homeless, constituting one-third of the approximately 600,000 homeless population (total homeless population statistic based on data from Department of Health and Human Services). Ok, that's enough. THINK before you speak next time.
natepyron 0
alchohal and drug abuse is not a choice? did you really just say that?!?!
natepyron 0
and 44 percent isn't much and they probably don't work much or they'd have more money so they're probably still pretty lazy...since when does " some paid work" in a month make you hard working?
TheDrifter 24
I contribute to that "some paid work" statistic. I hire homeless to unload trailers, though rarely will the same guy work more than a few days a month. 80 bucks a day, a couple times a month IS laziness. I note you neglected to mention the percentage of homeless mothers with children. The fact that a crack addict has children in government care and gets beat by her pimp doesn't give her any higher standing than any other crack head leaching off the system. Addictions are NOT diseases, they are self inflicted mental illnesses.
pearls 0
#25, I agree with you. OP, this is just grimy, I feel sorry for you. And #19, how do you know he/she doesn't own the coffee shop?
Jaywin 3
asttro_boy: It's just as I figured, you don't do a damn thing to help. You think all homeless people are victims when in reality that's not the case. You're wishing homelessness upon me, why? I've heard many homeless say they're homeless because they made a bad a decision. You see? They put themselves in this position. How is one supposed to find sympathy in that? I'm all for helping people who WANT to be helped and who are actively trying to get themselves back on their feet but I've yet to find a homeless person who is actually doing that.