Today, a homeless man bathed himself in the restroom at my coffee shop in West LA. He locked himself in there for a good twenty minutes. The lingering smell was so strong that my other coworker vomited. Thanks to what is apparently a relatively strong gag reflex, I got to clean up. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML
Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML
Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML
Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML
Today, I was working the night shift when a guy came in smelling like alcohol. He kept muttering his order, so I leaned over the register to hear him better. My ear now smells of vomit. FML
Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML
Today, I spent an hour and twenty minutes throwing up at a toilet from a shopping mall because I ate rotten food without realizing it. At least during that time I made two new friends, a gay couple who were making out in the next toilet cubicle. FML
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Top comments
Jaywin 3
#4 and #5 you both obviously haven't had extended periods of time with the homeless. They gather around my university campus and do nothing but beg, yell, and grab random people for no reason. If you two are so high and mighty wishing this fate upon me because "I don't know their situation" why aren't you two out there personally helping the homeless? When was the last time you let a homeless dude into your house to bathe and gave him a meal? You're no different from everyone else who walks by them without a second glance, so stop pretending you're a better person by "sympathizing".
anjyu22 0
You think your life sucks, think about how the homeless guy must feel. He has to smell himself every day.
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Comments (97)
poolshark 0
You might want to bathe in tomato juice to be sure you are free of any residual stankiness. Oh wait... that's for skunks. Maybe a try a bath in rubbing alcohol and take a flame thrower to your work clothes?
Jaywin 3
#4 and #5 you both obviously haven't had extended periods of time with the homeless. They gather around my university campus and do nothing but beg, yell, and grab random people for no reason. If you two are so high and mighty wishing this fate upon me because "I don't know their situation" why aren't you two out there personally helping the homeless? When was the last time you let a homeless dude into your house to bathe and gave him a meal? You're no different from everyone else who walks by them without a second glance, so stop pretending you're a better person by "sympathizing".
Roberticus 0
We had a similar event at our coffee shop a few years ago. The good news? The bathroom was in the outside courtyard and was locked because we were closed. The bad news? The guy took an oily dump on the flagstone outside the bathroom door. Nothing beats scooping up someone else's diarrhea first thing in the morning...
firstrule 0
Sucks for your co-workers boyfriend.
natepyron 0
yes
carolmc 0
YDI, why would you let a homeless person bathe in your place of business ? not very professional sweetheart
tylercarolinex 21
you're awfully closeminded. if you ever became homeless think of the embarrasment of having to smell because you have no place to clean yourself. OP is kind hearted.
Polionixon 2
Homeless people have to bathe too. Stop hatin.
RiverRelic 0
West L.A. waitress/waiter = actor. Look at this as an opportunity to explore the character of a homeless person. Or, maybe an opportunity to look for a better job.
somesecretname 0
If people weren't so snooty about letting the guy bathe in their workplace bathrooms, he'd be able to do it more often and wouldn't smell so bad. It's bitchin' hard to find somewhere to wash on the street.
xClarkGable 0
You people are so mean to the homeless. Sure, some homeless people are rude and disgusting, but so are people with homes. My dad was homeless and I know ALL people don't act like this. Props for letting him bathe.
UGADawg08 1
That's disgusting. You should have pulled a gun so he'd get the hell off of your property. Sickening lowlife. If anything, this comment page has shown me that FML is full of Marxist trash. "You should feel sympathy for the useless piece of crap because he refused to make good decisions with his life and contributes absolutely nothing to society! Maybe you should give him free food and a place to stay too, because he clearly deserves it!"