Today, a homeless man asked me for money in a train station bathroom. When I told him I had no money he left. He then returned only to pour a bottle full of urine on my head while I was in the stall. I use a metro card. I honestly had no money. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking down the street when a homeless man asked me for some spare change. I told him I didn't have any. I then tripped. Not only spilling the soda I was drinking all over myself, but also spilling the spare change I had from buying it. FML
Today, I politely asked a man to not sleep on a tram stop that I had to clean. He got up, and while I leaned forward to pick up some trash from the ground nearby, I felt a warm stream on my back. Now I can't get the smell of urine off my clothes. FML
Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for a sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Today, I was leaving the train station when a man came up to me and asked me if I have an unlimited metrocard to swipe him in. I did have an unlimited card so I told him sure. While taking out my metrocard from my wallet, he grabbed my wallet and ran away as fast as he could. FML
Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML
Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML
Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him that I had none, he yelled angrily, "Who comes to this city without money?" I replied, "Apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
Today, after leaving a bar I fell asleep on the Q train heading home. I awoke at 5am in Coney Island, end of the line, to a cop poking me with his baton. He gave me a ticket for "Subway Vagrancy" even though I have a job and an apartment. He didn't ticket the homeless man next to me covered in piss. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
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Top comments
CrassKal 27
I honestly would've punched him.
jordantiner 0
He sounds pissed.. ;)
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Comments (132)
CapnCapes 4
You should move to Nashville. Our homeless people are very nice.
scottysnuts 2
give that worthless bum a drink in the toilet after you knock him out
totheforest84 4
Should have beat him senseless. I don't care if he's homeless; he needs to learn a lesson.
Calyx_fml 22
Get tested for HepC.
Monstarred 7
I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on...oh wait
sicksadworld1317 30
I'd have dragged his ass to the one stall left unflushed. Every public bathroom has one. Swirly time, mutha f*cka ;)
candylandy 1
Should of taken your poo and throw it at him!
foreveriowa 16
maybe you should carry some monopoly money! he never said REAL money... ;)
alphaskater09 9
Cut him man! Do! Cut him!
SitoXSlayer 0
I find it funny that people outside of NYC almost have no idea what a metrocard is, and that little shit basically controls how we get around.
alissa222 15
What led you to think nobody outside of NYC knows what a metro card is?