Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad forgot it's my birthday. When I told him about it, he accused me of lying and threatened to ground me for a week. FML
Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
Today, I'm mad at my dad for forgetting it's my birthday. He's mad at me for not reminding him. FML
Today, I got grounded because I didn't go to my dog's birthday party. FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
Today, I was a little grumpy. I tried my best to not take it out on other people, but then I encountered that ONE person who doesn't realize that sometimes people are just in a bad mood, and they proceed to give you a hard time over nothing. That person was my mom. And then later my dad. Now I'm grounded. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend, since we weren't getting along. When I got home, I remembered that today is his birthday. Him and all our friends now think I'm a total bitch. FML
Today, I've been so stressed out that I forgot my own birthday. I only remembered when my mom talked to me to let me know she wasn't planning on doing anything for it. FML
Today, rather than get me a birthday present, my boyfriend just got angry that I got gifts from other people. Apparently, it "made him feel guilty." FML
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Top comments
gabfoundnemo 5
Admitting it is the first step. To rehab you go.
Vball6 19
Bitch.
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Comments (311)
gabfoundnemo 5
Admitting it is the first step. To rehab you go.
domking1315 20
I dont think you go to rehab for that...
Mr_Krabs 5
I dont think they treat chronic bitch syndrome
Damn_Hippster 11
CBS is a growing concern in modern society, she may need to consult with a specialist.
mylifesucks_fml 1
psh, if my mom grounded me for that I'd just say "I got you air to keep breathing. -_-" and take her real present back.
oneFUCKINword 8
Wow. Your son really is the son of a bitch.
jajaflan 4
I didnt no my mom had a fml... I hate you mom if you read this... It was a necklace
onelove858 5
They treat for mad cow disease so we're fine.
ebdeadaccount 11
*know
lightbulbman101 4
can you say thundercunt
elidine 0
Typical of a prostie....
22cute 17
Yes, admitting you're a bitch is the first step. Apologizing is the second. Learning how to parent correctly is the third (there are plenty of books in the library to teach you) O, and if OPs son is reading - take back her necklace and get her a parenting book.
FilleNoir 21
117 *Know
Mr_Krabs 5
117, when you say "it was a necklace", does that mean you (rightfully) returned the necklace back to the store? Please tell me you did. Your mom is a bigger bitch than Kyle's mom, and shes a big fat bitch.
jajaflan 4
241- i never gave it to her because she grounded me. I still have it and dont have plans on giving it to her until she eats poop from the toilet and apoligizes
rageandlove13 8
241- South Park? :D
thefmlman2011 37
#99 - Badum tiss
alwaysrunnin 3
Nice parenting. Poor kiddo;/
Forlorn420 9
I hope op's birthday gets skipped on the calendar this year. You don't deserve presents
MindFreakazoid 10
OP sounds like my mom :D and yeah poor kid unground the kid!
baddawg365 0
Mom you obviously dont get the point of grounding, I still have my phone. And since when did you get an FML you can barely operate a microwave
syley 5
125) not sure if you're making a joke or serious...
baddawg365 0
I'm being dead serious, why would I joke about something like this
Mr_Krabs 5
125 - I thought jajafan was the kid? Wtf?! Whos the real son?
alphaskater09 9
250-probably no one. People just like attention.
TheLoneWolf87 4
IMPOSTER!
pbonham 22
At least you realise it now, but that's still heaps mean :/
Chad_the_Brony 0
I was just about to write something similar to your comment. It's better to know that now than deny it and continue being a bitch. Apologize to your son and go for a drive with him or something to show you really are sorry. That's what I would do.
Purplefluff 6
Yeah I would hate to have op as a mother ( no offense)
Jawzx01 7
"heaps"? WTF? :-)
FuckOffNoob 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
anxious?
LightningCactus 12
How so?
xcarxcrashx 9
To get her birthday gift!!
laden_swallow09 35
Then wouldn't she be eager rather than anxious?
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
215- Anxious can also mean excited.
cuppycakeslove 20
Impatient much? C'mon, surprises are the best! Well...some.
CorporalDunn 4
Surprises ARE the best! Unless it's... Surprise buttsex...
FMLshark 12
Or being punched in the balls as a wake-up call.
Warchamp7 3
AIDS... AIDS isn't a good surprise.
mylifesucks_fml 1
or that unwanted positive on a pregnancy test! those are always great...
BunchieRules 31
41 - Or when you sneak up and terrorize the many innocent commenters of FML. :P
Vball6 19
Bitch.
TarieBoo 2
We know
ydi_4_suking 20
******* bitch
AK_Nymeria 1
No shit?
FMLandurstoo 9
Hi.
SystemofaBlink41 27
107- i like how you got more thumbs up than the ones before you
2oc 5
It's definitely the picture.
A7X_LoVeee 10
So unground him?
Blackmail111 9
And buy him an Xbox 360?
steven1995 5
Na a ps3
Bonzer 2
No, an Xbox 360.
flockz 20
no no buy an etch a sketch.
Archay 13
Yay flockz!!!!!
pokefan813 16
Screw that! Nothing beats a NES! (I'm not even being sarcastic!)
lilpowers 3
Every kid wants cookies and cake for dinner for one week. Plain as that.
krad204 21
Cookies and cakes for dinner along with a $5000 gaming computer rig should do It, I hope.
ScenicSubterfuge 39
Hahaha the original iPad:)
DontClickOnMe 28
Whoa... Calm your ****, lady. Poor kid.
The_Tool1 13
Can you calm my ****?
hockeyoceancity 13
39- Moobs*
YoungMisfit 9
I know I've commented on one of your comments but really, I'd tap that.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
My **** are very angry. They've been slapping folks all day. :D
itsmorganbitch 0
You sound like my mom, YDI
Bonzer 2
In that case, you're a son of a bitch.
itsgen 16
I was about to say sounds like my mom I feel your pain
bizarre_ftw 22
I suddenly deeply appreciate my pot smoking, car lending, bf sneaking, bloody awesome mum - if only she didn't bug me so much >.<
JordanDempsey 20
Wow, what a poor mom #249
graffitied_love 20
YDI. Sorry but you even admitted you're a bitch
reallytho3 11
Thts the saddest part, you're so much of a bitch that you notice how much of a bitch you are.... Tragic