Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML
Today, while discussing my family on a date, I mentioned that my parents are divorced. She immediately got up and left without a word. FML
Today, at work, I misheard a customer telling me a story. To be polite, I did a slight laugh and nodded my head. She actually told me her mum had died. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
Today, my mom convinced me that she and my dad were getting divorced. I have anxiety problems, so I had a panic attack. She then laughed, and said, "Just kidding, I wanted to see your reaction. It's the best so far." FML
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, I tried to tell my dad that I was really struggling with my mental health and didn't think I could stay alive much longer. He laughed. This comes after telling my "best friend" last week and having to wait three days for a reply. FML
Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML
Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mizzdavis 8
As someone who regularly chokes on their own saliva, I feel your pain. FYL
tommyfox 19
Don't get all choked up over this, OP. Things will get better soon.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (60)
ryanpetersen3 2
how do u choke on saliva???
BellaBelle_fml 23
I am finding it hard to believe that there are so many people commenting here that have never accidentally choked on their own saliva before. Or have never even heard of that happening to someone else before. It's actually quite commonplace. Although, technically it isn't really choking. When one truly chokes they cannot talk, breath, or make any noises whatsoever. It has been played up with noises for a more dramatic effect in movies, TV shows, and theatre. And that's why so many people think that you actually make those noises commonly associated with choking. Anyways, sometimes if you haven't been talking or eating, and have had your mouth closed for a while, the saliva will start to sort of pool near the back of your mouth close to the throat. And then, when you go to speak, the movement of your tongue causes the pooled saliva to slide backwards and down your throat. And that's when you 'choke' on your own saliva. You usually aren't expecting this to happen so it can take you off guard. There are some cases where you can actually tell that this is starting to happen but there's really nothing you can do to stop it. I really hope that this helped to clear things up a little for those who have never heard of this happening before.
AlexiAwesome 10
How rude! ;) jk
BrookRae 19
What?
monpetitchevelle 4
Have you an excessive amount of saliva compared to most people??
LoveMeDontHateMe 9
Trick her into talking to you :D
BellaBelle_fml 23
But…how can you trick someone into talking to you when they won't talk to you? :/
olpally 33
Bellabelle, Some of these comments are very stupid on this one. Common sense isn't so common I guess. Good points you made though.
BellaBelle_fml 23
You are, rather unfortunately as well as irritatingly, correct. Thank you! It's always nice to see someone else agreeing with your comments. And it's especially nice to see someone else actually compliment your comments. So, once again, thank you for your kind words. I appreciate you. (:
olpally 33
Not a problem Bellabelle! You've been spot on all night with the comments! You're welcome :)
ThatStupidJock 4
How do you choke on your own saliva?
CanadianCutie22 16
why didn't you pipe up after the fact and clarify ?
Kk_Waylen24 21
You could have died and she wouldn't have saved you because she thought you were laughing!
DenBriZel 31
Traitorous phlegm. :/