Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML
Today, while discussing my family on a date, I mentioned that my parents are divorced. She immediately got up and left without a word. FML
Today, at work, I misheard a customer telling me a story. To be polite, I did a slight laugh and nodded my head. She actually told me her mum had died. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
Today, my mom convinced me that she and my dad were getting divorced. I have anxiety problems, so I had a panic attack. She then laughed, and said, "Just kidding, I wanted to see your reaction. It's the best so far." FML
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, I tried to tell my dad that I was really struggling with my mental health and didn't think I could stay alive much longer. He laughed. This comes after telling my "best friend" last week and having to wait three days for a reply. FML
Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML
Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
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Top comments
mizzdavis 8
As someone who regularly chokes on their own saliva, I feel your pain. FYL
tommyfox 19
Don't get all choked up over this, OP. Things will get better soon.
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Comments (60)
Wizardo 34
Make the effort go up to her a give her a sincere and understanding explanation of what went down, then hug her and she'll feel all fuzzy inside, its all good, peace and love man, peace and love :)
BellaBelle_fml 23
This made me feel like I was in a '70s therapy session.
Wizardo 34
That was sort of the point, its all groovy baby, love not hate maaaaan @.@
BellaBelle_fml 23
You did a good job in getting the desired effect! Not many people can do that successfully in a comment or text. I say Bravo! :)
Wizardo 34
Thank you duuuude, I'm getting like all positive energy from you maaan @.@
BellaBelle_fml 23
And that was the point of my comment. I'm glad we had this little chat. The more positive energy the better! :D
Wizardo 34
Exactly, spread the love maaan, the world can never have enough. Peace duuude :))
EpicSquishii 21
I'm confused as to why she's so convinced that you were laughing? Did her mom leave her dad after walking in on him having sex with a sad face clown? That's the only reason I'd ever laugh at a divorce story. Otherwise I can't think of a reason why she wouldn't believe you.
limitedition 25
Your comment made me visualize sex with a sad face clown. And it was hilarious. Well played!
CarrieDiaries 12
Just give her time to cool off and then apologise again. If she doesn't accept she's not worth your time.
Thatsjank 5
Call her
xkncas 8
That sucks, you deserved it, but at least she is moving away so you don't have to deal with her.
BrookRae 19
How did he deserve it? That happens. It's not like he asked for it.
BellaBelle_fml 23
Oh boy; 1.) It is annoying when you accidentally choke on your saliva when speaking, especially if it is during a more serious conversation such as the one in this situation. And it can sometimes hurt your throat a little bit. However, saying that people deserve bad things to happen to them for doing that is ridiculously silly and rather immature. People can't really predict those types of things. Or prevent them from happening even if they could. I don't think it would be considered rude or even much of a faux pas really. 2.) "…at least she's moving away so you don't have to deal with her." Umm…ok? The OP never said, or even made any sort of a suggestion, that he was irritated or that he didn't really want to be listening to her talk about her problems. No, he was doing what friends do for each other. He was being supportive by listening and letting his friend vent a little about some of the struggles she is facing at this moment. How could you, or anyone else for that matter, ever even consider that to be 'dealing' with her?! What?
ColtonStecher 12
You go girl!
chanellgymnast 17
At least you were getting all choked up, right? Ah, just explain to her what happened.
foiled 15
As long as she's not a love interest you're good.
olpally 33
It's okay op, just explain what happened if she lets you, if not, don't worry about it too much. F her life too for her parents getting divorced too. :/ no win situation.
icepick23 12
Just buy her some Godiva
noelasis94 18
At least you didn't choke on some chicken.