Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML
Today, I talked to a girl on the phone who had previously told me her last relationship "ended very badly." I said, "So let me guess, the jerk cheated on you?" She paused for a few moments and finally replied, "No, he died in a motorcycle accident." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend how my mom passed away when I was 11 after crashing her car into a tree at night. He muttered, "Women drivers." FML
Today, I found out that my favorite female coworker was in a car accident. When I told my girlfriend, her only reaction was to roll her eyes and sarcastically say, "Oh no." She then immediately, and very enthusiastically, asked if the accident killed her. FML
Today, my dad approached two girls at a store and told them I'd crashed into their car. They didn't find it funny either. FML
Today, I got into my first car accident. Extremely upset, I called my parents, because it was their car and I didn't know what to do. I told them what happened, and asked if they were on their way to where I was. My dad's response was, "Hell no, we're eating dinner." FML
Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML
Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML
Today, my dad decided to take his medicine before eating. He passed out with his face in a plate of chocolate cake. He wasn't responsive so I called the paramedics. When he got to the hospital, the doctor asked him if he knew why he was there. He replied, "Because my stupid daughter overreacted." FML
Today, I took my parents up on their invitation to spend Thanksgiving with them. My 3 year-old daughter refused to get out of the car and insisted on waiting there. When asked why, she said, "I don't like Grandma because she's mean to Daddy!" Not only did my parents hear, we haven't told her he, my husband, passed away 4 months ago. FML
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Top comments
license2chill 5
Smooth, try not to be so sarcastic next time
randomthing 22
That's just bad luck. D:
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Comments (87)
Albarufus 13
Smooth...
kate3101 15
Wow - that was really unnecessary. Why would you be sarcastic about that? Why does a simple observation about not liking driving need a retort? A simple "Oh really, why not?" would have cleared that right up without any upset. You chose to be a dick. YDI
Prettybaux 6
So making sarcastic jokes about her father's death didn't work out for you? Who would have guessed?
whoawhathappend 3
Darwinism, obviously her family tree will end soon. .
stormstarcj 12
Insensitive ahole!
PocketFox 10
What the hell possessed you to be such an unprovoked, unmitigated dick?
missmon92 6
Why is everyone calling OP and insensitive asshole or a douchebag or something along those lines? Yeah, it was a tad douchey to joke about something like that, then again the girl is also a tad bit unreasonable. I suppose it makes sense to want to avoid driving and cherries but, let's be realistic. Car accidents happen every single day. If you're attentive, usually you can avoid them. And cherries and choking... Choking happens, regardless of what you're eating or drinking. Once again, I realize that people can die from it but, the way the FML was written I think the dad is still alive. As for an example of moving on with your life, I was in a car accident when I was 7 years old with my sister and dad. I walked away with a broken arm. I saw my sister die instantaneously and my dad, i wasn't sure about him. Now, today he walks with a gimp and a has a million scars all over him that he wouldn't have if not for that accident. As horrible as I felt for walking away almost unhurt, that doesn't stop me from driving. Got my license when I was 16 and I've even gotten a speeding ticket since then. The past is the past and just because something terrible and traumatic happened to you doesn't mean you should avoid doing something at all costs just to avoid that experience again. That's not called living! Living is a wonderful thing
CheshireHalli 19
Regardless of if it's an everyday occurrence or not, if someone mentions it, there's no need for a rude response like the OP gave.
Epikouros 32
As writer John Scalzi said: the failure mode of 'clever' is 'asshole'.
OceanBlueSea 12
Wrong thing at the wrong time
snafu63 0
You sound like an incredibly insensitive ass.