Today, I found out that my favorite female coworker was in a car accident. When I told my girlfriend, her only reaction was to roll her eyes and sarcastically say, "Oh no." She then immediately, and very enthusiastically, asked if the accident killed her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I couldn't help but laugh at my girlfriend because she always becomes paranoid when she's around cars. I found her reaction cute and told her that "there's nothing to worry about". A car ran over me two hours later. I'm in a hospital now. FML
Today, I was driving to work, following my girlfriend's car. I looked down to change the radio station and felt a large bump. I rear-ended my girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend was driving on a busy highway when she slammed on the brakes, causing a multi-car accident. She then ran across several lanes, almost getting smashed by a truck, because she thought she saw a dog in the road. It was already dead. Insurance is gonna be a nightmare. FML
Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML
Today, during a text conversation with a girl I've been trying to get with, she complained about how crummy of a day she was having. I told her it couldn't be as bad as she thought, and she would probably get it over it soon. Then she told me she had found out her cousin had been murdered. FML
Today, at the end of a 15 hour shift, my girlfriend and her friends played a "prank" on me by texting me from a random number saying my cat got hit by a car. I immediately burst into tears and lost it in front of my colleagues. My cat is fine. My relationship is the real joke. FML
Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were on the road. She saw that I got an innocent text from a friend, Melissa. In a fit of jealous rage, she put the gear of my car to “P” causing the car behind me to rear end me. My bumper fell off. She told me, “Tell that bitch Melissa to take care of that.” FML
Today, I was in a car accident. When I came home, I told my mom. She just got angry with me, blamed me for it, and didn't even ask if I was OK. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML
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Top comments
TomeDr 25
Wow. Exactly how often do you talk about your coworker to your girlfriend? And does your girlfriend show any other signs of being a sociopath?
GoogieWithers 25
Was your girlfriend the reason behind the accident?
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Comments (4)
TomeDr 25
Wow. Exactly how often do you talk about your coworker to your girlfriend? And does your girlfriend show any other signs of being a sociopath?
GoogieWithers 25
Was your girlfriend the reason behind the accident?
GAYPAIN 4
DUMP HER
Chazzster 32
My experience is that if you speak too often of another woman to wife or GF, she’s going to get jealous and insecure. I suspect OP did this by GF’s reaction. … Not saying GF reacted appropriately, just that she might have been primed for this reaction by hearing too often of this coworker.