Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML
Today, I talked to a girl on the phone who had previously told me her last relationship "ended very badly." I said, "So let me guess, the jerk cheated on you?" She paused for a few moments and finally replied, "No, he died in a motorcycle accident." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend how my mom passed away when I was 11 after crashing her car into a tree at night. He muttered, "Women drivers." FML
Today, I found out that my favorite female coworker was in a car accident. When I told my girlfriend, her only reaction was to roll her eyes and sarcastically say, "Oh no." She then immediately, and very enthusiastically, asked if the accident killed her. FML
Today, my dad approached two girls at a store and told them I'd crashed into their car. They didn't find it funny either. FML
Today, I got into my first car accident. Extremely upset, I called my parents, because it was their car and I didn't know what to do. I told them what happened, and asked if they were on their way to where I was. My dad's response was, "Hell no, we're eating dinner." FML
Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML
Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML
Today, my dad decided to take his medicine before eating. He passed out with his face in a plate of chocolate cake. He wasn't responsive so I called the paramedics. When he got to the hospital, the doctor asked him if he knew why he was there. He replied, "Because my stupid daughter overreacted." FML
Today, I took my parents up on their invitation to spend Thanksgiving with them. My 3 year-old daughter refused to get out of the car and insisted on waiting there. When asked why, she said, "I don't like Grandma because she's mean to Daddy!" Not only did my parents hear, we haven't told her he, my husband, passed away 4 months ago. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
license2chill 5
Smooth, try not to be so sarcastic next time
randomthing 22
That's just bad luck. D:
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (87)
kriz_allizwell 6
Stay away from bad luck bryce!
laden_swallow09 35
Who's Bryce?
tne201992 12
I was wondering the same shit.
LuckyLynx7732 5
Dude you walked right into that one. YDI
ambowew 7
I believe the person at their favourite bar did the same thing.
htownpostman 16
Funny retort.. You could not have I known...
Deathhound 27
I don't see why you have to be like that. I mean... if she saw that as a kid when her dad choked on a cherry. Why did you have to be sarcastic about it? YDI.
MrsAlexander83 10
I'm going to go out on a limb and say there's a family curse. Best to just keep on walking--don't really wanna mess with that!
campervan 6
Aww ive had moments like these you just say stuff and then comes the awkwardness. I was once going upthis building to see the view with my friend and she was like i dont want to. I said dw it only hurts when you hit the bottom 'jokingly'. Then she said "my friend jumped off a roof". In my head i was just like damndamndamn.
morethanthis_fml 4
maybe her father was choking on the cherry while driving and got in an accident and the brothers died..
supportcommand 17
Or maybe a brother was driving and had an accident that caused dad to choke on a cherry. Or... Brother was driving, dad choked on the cherry, brother panicked and crashed. Hmmm. So many scenarios.
nora111197 8
Or maybe u r not as dumb as i think u r
supportcommand 17
You're or you are. Thank you.
Mahendra1 9
I don't get why people are saying, "that was funny, you were just unlucky OP". The girl told you about how she was understandably traumatised by something that happened in her past, and you were sarcastic about it later. I could understand if she had said something dumb like "I don't eat cherries because I've heard there's aliens inside them" and you later went "Do you think there's aliens inside cars?". But in this case, you'd be a dick even if there hadn't been a car crash, for being sarcastic about her father's death.
Clushh 0
It doesn't say that the father died.
Mahendra1 9
I just realised it doesn't say he died. Whoops. But the point still stands, it's pretty traumatic for a child to watch their father choke.
ravemasterroxas 9
Jerk.
kingmario75 5
Asshat.