By FML Approved - 13/07/2017 18:30 I agree, your life sucks 513 You deserved it 149 Share Tweet Share
Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum." I'm only 26 years-old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML I agree, your life sucks 43 903 You deserved it 2 821
Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 635 You deserved it 5 944
Today, I met my girlfriend's extended family for the first time. Her family kept telling her how much I looked and acted like her older brother and I'm guessing by the end of the day she agreed, because now she pulls away and gags when I try to kiss her. FML I agree, your life sucks 53 040 You deserved it 2 761
Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML I agree, your life sucks 534 You deserved it 38
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML I agree, your life sucks 2 060 You deserved it 262
Today, my mother guilted me into going with her to have lunch with my eldest brother. He showed up having obviously not showered, with filthy clothes, and the stench of rotten teeth on his breath. She criticises me for every little thing, but makes excuses for him being a jobless slob for 20 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 856 You deserved it 97
Those aren’t the droids I’m looking for.