Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML
Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my girlfriend telling me to call when I wake up. Turns out she had one of her friends over who tested positive for Covid and I was just at her house, so now I’m forced to quarantine. FML
Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
Today, after trying for months for a baby, I finally got a positive test. For chlamydia. FML
Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML
Today, the girl of my dreams that I've been dating for months called me. Apparently she's been having recurring nightmares of me cheating on her. She dumped me "just in case." FML
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Top comments
toxic_walrus 15
She gave you chlamydia AND has bad taste in music? You sure know how to pick em!
tj4234 36
Hey, i just ****** you. And this is crazy. I have chlamydia. So now you do maybe. Also, Sirin is the best, she's so cool. I wish she were my mum and all.
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Comments (224)
redstone7693 29
Shit, bro. Chlamydia is terrible. Use condoms next time, if there is a next time. :( I wish you the best of luck.
juanschwartz 18
Hey I just met you, and this is crazy; but I have an STD, so get checked maybe.
33joker 1
Sucks for sure but ten days of antibiotics, no drinking, and no sex and you're good. At least she didn't send you a Justin Bieber herpes mix.
bachoman 10
There are huge law suits to be had if someone doesn't warn you of any STD's they do not have prior to intercourse.
Fou_Lou 20
YDI if you didnt use a condom. FYL if you did.
Epickitty58 29
The catchy tune will haunt you the entire drive to get yourself tested . . .
Strider207 5
You... You are just far too stupid to insult.
ily53012 3
Wow Thanks Too All Of You Who Have Left The Bro/Bra Comments. definitely Just Made My Day Lol. And Second Of All I'm Going To Save You The Trouble Of A Horrrrrible Remix Also And Say I Hope You Use A Condom From Now On If You Didn't Before!
Studwithproblems 8
Should've worn a condom, yu won't learn till it falls off next time
purplecreature 5
its ironic that as soon as I started reading this my sister started listening to the song >.