Today, the girl of my dreams that I've been dating for months called me. Apparently she's been having recurring nightmares of me cheating on her. She dumped me "just in case." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the girl of my dreams, the one person I've met in my life that I could see myself spending the rest of it with, told me she loves me. She then specifically added "...but not in that way, so we could never be together." FML
Today, I had a nightmare and woke up in a cold sweat. My girlfriend was in bed with me at the time, and swears I yelled out another girl's name. She considers this proof that I'm cheating on her, and now she won't even speak to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me after I told her I was learning how to start having lucid dreams. She was convinced the only reason I could possibly want to have them was so I could cheat on her in my own dreams. FML
Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML
Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML
Today, I woke up from an amazing dream I was having about my girlfriend. We were laughing and holding hands, the kind of dream I wanted to stay asleep for. When I finally got up, I was excited to tell her about the dream but then I remembered. We broke up a week ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend of a year broke up with me because I didn't fight some guy that started hitting her right in front of me... In a dream. She was totally serious. FML
Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML
Today, the girl I had a crush on for the past few months called me and wanted to tell me something. Excited, I agreed and we went out to dinner. She wanted to tell me she had been secretly seeing 'someone' for the past six months. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML
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Top comments
Tristyxxx 24
That's the girl of your dreams ?
Wheredidgrungego 12
Call and tell her that you have herpes and she should get tested "just in case."
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Comments (126)
jake1632 9
That sucks.
eminemchick 19
woww does she have a dream house and dream husband and kids too? in a dream city with dream people?
slitherbomb 0
You should take a dump on her.
genesisnirvana 11
Should have called her a paranoid bitch.FYL
Iheartfunny 1
5 thats so strange because I hust finished watching inception
HoBoJo62 0
I had a friend that got dumped because his girlfriend somehow got a sign from god that told her to do so.
SuperDerp 8
Thats dosent just suck, thats absolutely freaking retarded. Just like putting a silk hat on a pig.
BeatlesObsessed 12
1- I have to point out that putting your number on your profile is very "mature".
gojira666 7
So is having the figure of a malnourished ethiopian
xoconnie 8
honestly that just sounds like an excuse she probably made up to give herself a reason to dump you.... sorry dude
xoconnie 8
also, good burn #32.
Amrel 10
Atleast shes bieng careful op dated a smart one
NotFromUSA 6
Best excuse ever.
Give_Linux_A_Go 28
OP should claim rights on this story, I imagine the producers of FInal Destination will be planning to use this for their next installment
jake1632 9
31, im 14. And I know im not ba for being 14, so sorry about thinking that people younger than me are immature, but you're 16 living in strawberry fields or whatever. So shut up.
brettlovesgirls 4
FYL
jake1632 9
Yep my nicknames aids.
BigMacBoi 3
Those are some dirt abs #1
jake1632 9
Nope I come in all.. Packages..
dre_bro11 12
59, so what? She's still 2 years wiser than you.
jake1632 9
Yep but.. *puts sunglasses on*.. *turns head to you* she's a girl.
EnterNameHere001 5
I'll be right back I need to find a hat shop and a pig farm.
jackrileymac 4
Maybe ints something intellectual
Uraharas_Bankai 1
Or maybe it's the girl's way of putting blame on OP since she probably has cheated on him.
jackrileymac 4
Or we can think really hard of ways to not understand sarcasm.... Oh wait you did that for us
fatraptorjesus13 9
yeah because sarcasm works so well in text form on the Internet
airborn54 0
Prove her wrong buy her flowers and take her out to eat to show that you care about her
TheSnakeDoctor20 17
3- she was probably breaking up with OP for a different reason
kaykay20 0
It seems it's from the fact she's scared he will cheat to be why she was having these nightmares. Are brain does that so we will face something that's been bothering us. They should talk it out and see if their is any way to put her mind at ease and to see that theirs nothing to be worried about.
TheSnakeDoctor20 17
Na 47, I think that's just an excuse to dump him
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
3- is that giraffe giving that horse anal???
airborn54 0
Indeed it is :). Nature is beautiful isn't it?
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
Very b.e.a.utiful
Tristyxxx 24
That's the girl of your dreams ?
Lenho 26
She's more likely to be the girl of his nightmares.
nerdfighteria 7
Is your profile picture a screenshot of your getting the first comment on a post? I can see you're very proud . . .
The_Nuke 31
Sounds like the girl of your dreams is now just a dream
yoshiyakiryu 20
You don't want to stay with a girl like that.
kongor 1
Thats not true... Girls r crazy and their actions are dictated by emotions... It sounds like op needs to tell her shes the girl of his dreams.
Wheredidgrungego 12
Call and tell her that you have herpes and she should get tested "just in case."
taazer 12
LOOL hahhaha
nickyjp 17
Did that once it didn't turn out well...
DomoLaDii 8
that really sucks...jus bcuz she had dreams?
mk58 31
This is probably all that goes through her head: "It's better to be safe than sorry."
EnEl_Infierno 15
Yeah then karma kicks in you see her a year later she's eight months pregnant doenst know who the father is and she's kicking herself saying dam I should of stayed with op he was safer and now im sorry. I agree your life sucks you don't need someone like that.
ArsenalFan12 0
idiot
Recent_Fudge 4
Dreams like those happen because she's insecure and has self esteem problems.