Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML
Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my girlfriend telling me to call when I wake up. Turns out she had one of her friends over who tested positive for Covid and I was just at her house, so now I’m forced to quarantine. FML
Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
Today, after trying for months for a baby, I finally got a positive test. For chlamydia. FML
Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML
Today, the girl of my dreams that I've been dating for months called me. Apparently she's been having recurring nightmares of me cheating on her. She dumped me "just in case." FML
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Top comments
toxic_walrus 15
She gave you chlamydia AND has bad taste in music? You sure know how to pick em!
tj4234 36
Hey, i just ****** you. And this is crazy. I have chlamydia. So now you do maybe. Also, Sirin is the best, she's so cool. I wish she were my mum and all.
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Comments (224)
lina21 12
She gave you an STD AND a sad semblance of what's supposed to be music? Talk about adding insult to injury. Though I can think of a Lily Allen song that would be an appropriate response
aricababyy 22
At least she's not pregnant haha
lina21 12
Sounds like she wouldn't know who the baby daddy was if she were preggo
MissBehavin77 18
Not yet anyway. That will be the follow up FML.
cina5 19
Sorry Op at least its cureable.,
rocker_chick23 27
Too bad the lack of common sense isn't curable.
DevilsMetsGiants 30
This is why you wear a condom man. Hopefully you can get treated easily.
imbatmanfir 15
Sucks but next time don't have sex with girls you don't know enough.
mansfield_j 27
Weither you know them or not they could still hide the fact they have an STD
VanOBrien 14
I bet you're the type of person who'd go to an impoverished country to try bungee jumping for the first time. You know, the type where the cord always snaps? Regardless of that, it might behoove you to know whether or not the person that you're going to have sex with has any diseases or not. Then you can decide to stick your penis in her and play craps whether or not you'll catch anything. A total YDI.
Celestial_Dreams 15
At least it's a easily cured STD, OP.
berkeleyjake 13
post a link to the song. you can't leave all of us just wondering how it sounded
Phoebe18 14
Can someone please explain to me what's with all these "sue her" comments? I honestly don't understand why people think OP needs to sue this girl. If she slept with him knowing she had an STD and did it with the intention of passing it on to him then going to court over it is understandable. But it is curable and she told OP about it, also OP made the choice of having sex without a condom. Maybe she only found out and told him as soon as she was told? Either way I really don't understand these "sue her" comments. Can someone please explain?
Greg1986 13
At least it's curable with anti-biotics now.