Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a math test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had our parents over to our new apartment for the first time. We spent hours cleaning, cooking, and making sure everything was "parent-appropriate." Apparently we didn't notice the BDSM catalog in the pile on our coffee table... but his mom sure did. FML
Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's place to have a study session. Her dad was on a business trip but her mom was at home. We studied for about two hours, then we started getting frisky and started undressing and soon started fucking. We were about 20 minutes in when her mom came in and chased me out. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
Today, my mom came in my bedroom without knocking, even though I'd told her to, and caught me masturbating. She stood there in awkward silence before saying, "…Dinner's ready at 6." and left. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I needed to ask my mom for something, so I went to her room without knocking and walked in on her and her boyfriend fucking. FML
Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ToeCutter 0
Where the **** mags & handcuffs from your Moms personal stash? Kind of disturbing.
WiseGuy79 14
I can imagine the explanation now 'Wait don't leave they are my mom's mags n cuffs!' lmao
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (111)
randiZ25 0
Your mom is hilarious!!
seradares 0
This.
noaige 6
you're moms funny! maybe she was 'setting the mood'
corbster 0
babe
ilikepie22313 5
#24. your pic is adorable .
noaige 6
thanks )
usedpunkgurl 0
love your mom!
musicgirlxx 0
LOOOLOOL..
amerwin 3
This also could have worked in your favor if you had an ounce of "game". Just tell her you read the articles.
littlemissdqgirl 8
Then she'll just roll her eyes cuz that's just one of the lame excuses men use. My personal favorite bs answer: I just get it to read the jokes. bs, all I have to say.
schalk 12
Actually, Scope magazine was what FHM magazine used to be before it turned into Cosmo. Car specials and all sorts of good stuff. Of course I'd be lying if I say I didn't enjoy the boobs, but yeah it was a good magazine
russian153 4
haha ur mom is hilarious
lucious1 0
your life may suck but moms havin fun!!!!
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
ATTENTION AMERICANS Before you write that smug half-assed Grammar Nazi comment, please consider the following: 1) Many English-speaking nations say "maths" instead of "math." It's not poor English; it's a regional variation. 2) Yes, this OP has posted from Colorado, which is in the US. However, that does not mean that he's originally from the US. "Maths" may still be his preferred term.
SkeletonDude 2
Or it was a typo lol. :P
KiddNYC1O 22
41 could be right.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Or maybe the location screwed up, or maybe a mod edited it and used "maths", since some of the mods use the Queen's English... we could speculate all day. Regardless, it still doesn't warrant correction, because it's a correct term. Check some of the other "maths" FMLs' comments and you'll see why I posted this.
schalk 12
...or just maybe they should realise arguing over grammar with strangers on the net is like a 5 year old covering his ears & going "nah nah nah nah"
bobert258 0
maybe it just doesnt matter and you should be so freaked out!?
imright24 0
The only FML here is that your mom has easy access to handcuffs.
nocanhaz 4
op you made my day with that comment