Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a math test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had our parents over to our new apartment for the first time. We spent hours cleaning, cooking, and making sure everything was "parent-appropriate." Apparently we didn't notice the BDSM catalog in the pile on our coffee table... but his mom sure did. FML
Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's place to have a study session. Her dad was on a business trip but her mom was at home. We studied for about two hours, then we started getting frisky and started undressing and soon started fucking. We were about 20 minutes in when her mom came in and chased me out. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
Today, my mom came in my bedroom without knocking, even though I'd told her to, and caught me masturbating. She stood there in awkward silence before saying, "…Dinner's ready at 6." and left. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I needed to ask my mom for something, so I went to her room without knocking and walked in on her and her boyfriend fucking. FML
Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML
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Top comments
ToeCutter 0
Where the **** mags & handcuffs from your Moms personal stash? Kind of disturbing.
WiseGuy79 14
I can imagine the explanation now 'Wait don't leave they are my mom's mags n cuffs!' lmao
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Comments (111)
CoachLlama 5
Listen to mom. She will teach you a thing or two.
QWERTYCommander 5
Admit it, you're into that sort of thing.
derrek730 2
your mom is legend
fuzzy1994 0
your mom is a bitch
tboudre 0
that's kinda funny, but there ought to be some kind of licensing requirement to procreate.
lAdykrUElz 0
I like your mom!lmao
Greenpenguin999 7
that's how we roll in Colorado <_<
amypr 20
Hahaha FYL because yes, that must have sucked. But your life is awesome because your mother is hilarious.
DRock525 0
that's awesome!!
PositivelyDapper 0
Today, my son blamed me for his **** mags and handcuffs. FML.