Today, my "best friend" stole almost $1,000 worth of electronics and video games from my roommates and me, just so he could pawn them off and buy himself a new car stereo. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my best friend's boyfriend stole her car, so now she wants my car, the one that I just bought from her. FML
Today, a "friend" tried to sell me a digital camera that I recognized that was stolen from my home a week earlier, along with a few other things. FML
Today, my best friend broke up with her partner. In retaliation, he got drunk and stole my car, then crashed it into a neighbour's house. Then after dealing with the police who didn't arrest him, he and my best friend made up and went to bed. FML
Today, I visited my friend in a nasty part of town. When I saw the shattered window of the car next to me, and the missing stereo, I moved my car to a safer location. Luckily, though, I have a common car, so the thieves were able to jimmy the lock and steal my stereo without making any noise. FML
Today, I came home to find that my roommate had picked my lock and stolen my new laptop. When I tried to take it back, he called the police. They sided with him since he had also taken the receipt, which was "proof" that it was his. FML
Today, I caught my "best friend" on my laptop, copying my girlfriend's nudes onto his flash drive. FML
Today, someone caused over $400 worth of damage by breaking into my car, just to steal $8 worth of beer. FML
Today, my "friend" came over. I caught him trying to steal my iPod on the way out. Proud of myself for catching him, I asked him to leave, only to realize that I had forgotten to actually take the iPod back from him before he left. FML
Today, I found that there were charges of almost 2,000 dollars on my bank account. Some asshole in Florida stole my money. I have bills and that was money I saved to buy myself a new car. FML
Today, I had three sheriffs come to my door, turns out my boyfriend of three years went on a robbing spree last week and brought the stolen merchandise back to my apartment. The best part: He used my car while committing the robberies. FML
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Top comments
Liamj774 36
Maybe you could pawn him for a new friend
lex1459 38
I'd steal and sell the car stereo, then I'd get myself a new best friend.
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Comments (97)
rallison22 22
Kick his ass out
photographer49 22
#1 Or just kick his ass?
MrConcise 35
#25 - Or kick his ass and his car's rear bumper.
kangx1 28
steal his shit and see how he likes it.
incoherentrmblr 22
Just blow up the damn car, or put sugar in the gas tank...
Liamj774 36
Maybe you could pawn him for a new friend
Welshite 40
How much are friends going for nowadays? I paid $20 for my last one, but that was a few years ago.
Nymeria_fml 25
I don't think he would be worth all that much, though.
Ltsdragons 19
You wouldn't have to pay much to get a better friend than that one
MrSassypants 34
I say OP should sell instead of pawn the friend. Pawning implies that you might want the friend back.
stevenN659 24
#20, maybe thats the whole point. making him think you still care, and slowly but surely realising that you don't want him around you anymore
makkarari 18
Go take his car stereo and sell it to buy yourselves new video games etc that he stole from you. Then kick him out. Or if you have proof he did it, go to the police.
garrett_8614 14
He should file a civil suit against his "friend" for the amount of money he mad from selling the stolen items.
lex1459 38
I'd steal and sell the car stereo, then I'd get myself a new best friend.
mellajella 14
With my luck, if I tried that, I'd get caught while trying to take the stereo.
MrSassypants 34
That's why I bring a leprechaun everywhere so I don't have bad luck. The only bad thing is I haven't blinked in years.
Retaheki 27
Is that how you make your beautiful comments, MrSassy?
lex1459 38
Please stop #29
Retaheki 27
What'd I do?
PeaceTea13 17
If this happened to me, I would kick that "best friend" out and steal the stereo while doing so.
gracehi 33
Get your money back by selling him into slavery. Easy fix.
appletreee 30
Time to get a new friend?
stumpy77 3
not a best friend or a friend at all
Nymeria_fml 25
Well... I guess that's why it's in quotes.
skyedawson 2
Steal his shit and beat the crap out of him
MrSassypants 34
Wouldn't you have to beat the crap out of him first to steal his shit?
cakefete2 31
Kidneys go for about $40k on the black market. Your "best friend" has two.
Retaheki 27
I got a bathtub full of ice and a scalpel at my place.
Sideshowray94 8
"Can I get one kidney please..." "Certainly sir. Can I also offer you some guns or internet passwords... No? I'll chuck in a sample pack of this new drug *winks* it's on the house mate!" This is how I imagine every black market exchange to be like haha.
shitstorm28 11
This is one of the best comments I've read in a while
meliodafool_ 15
*applause*
404wan 19
you... i like the way you think