Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that I accidentally said my phone number wrong when I was giving it to a really smart, cute guy with all the same interests as me that I met at a bar last night. I'd had a few drinks and had gotten the middle three digits mixed up. FML
Today, I was giving a presentation at work, when I said, "But we could care less about that." My boss asked if I meant, "Couldn't care less." Wanting to avoid embarrassment, I tried to think up an excuse, only to end up blurting that it was my phone's auto-correct. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML
Today, I was on vacation, when a very cute guy starting talking to me and asked me what my name was. Overwhelmed and stressed out, I blurted out that I didn't have one. FML
Today, while messaging a possible new hire to set up an interview at my retail job, I meant to say, "Thank you for being flexible" - in regards to scheduling. Instead, it autocorrected to, "Thank you for being delicious." FML
Today, I had a brain fart moment while asking out a cute guy. I meant to say, "When are you going to let me take you out for coffee?” but what actually came out of my mouth was, “When are you going to let me do you?” He turned bright red and I ran away, and I’m too scared to go back. FML
Today, I said to a girl that I recently started dating, ‘I like you so far’. My phone had other plans and decide to autocorrect far to fat as I hit send. FML.
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, I texted my boss, "I'm looking forward to doing you" instead of, "I'm looking forward to seeing you" thanks to a very unfortunate combination of my atrocious typing skills on a smartphone and an overzealous autocorrect function. FML
Today, while thinking about something cringe I did, I accidentally said, "Oh fuck!" aloud during someone's speech. The room besides me and the speaker was otherwise quiet. FML
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Top comments
Izabushel 65
If there only was autocorrect for some conversations.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Technology and its mindfuckery: 1. Poor woman who fell to technology: 0.
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Comments (88)
Izabushel 65
If there only was autocorrect for some conversations.
HKCgrimmjow 15
I'm kind of intrigued, how would autocorrect in audio conversations work... And what if it changes your words to something completely random, "so how's the logjam today?" Hmmmm
soccerchick800 10
21st century probs...
HeartOfLead 24
There is... Just chew it over with a Snickers.
TheStormsFury 8
Isn't it twix?
decidedlyvague 11
Waldo Nipples! Damn autocorrect, Hold the Pickles!
James_is_Mexican 25
Honestly if a girl did that talking to me, that would be really cute...
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Technology and its mindfuckery: 1. Poor woman who fell to technology: 0.
leadawg75 12
People are way to obsessed with phones and technology nowadays. The more people use it, the more apt it is to influence their speech, communication, social skills, an social life.
androiddestroya 7
Siri tells me what to think now anyway.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
26- no, I was definitely mocking our technology use; if you think about it, we're quite insane. And I'd be a huge hypocrite :P
androiddestroya 7
31 - nonsense good sir! Merely because you engage the masses in a pass-time involving the technologically enhanced guilty pleasure of schadenfreude!? (laughing at people's misery; i.e. FML)
KiddNYC1O 22
Technology will never be in deficit.
FatAbbot 5
Sometimes I wonder how the hell people can just blurt ot technological terms in real life...
aw3som3sauc3 10
It's like when people say "lol" instead of laughing, it's depressing...
FatAbbot 5
Indeed
Sputnikspak 13
I will say 'lol' or 'lulz', but generally only ironically. Like when I think something isn't actually funny. People who say it and mean it scare me.
kellygirl83 11
How is saying lol ironic?
androiddestroya 7
Because if you were genuinely laughing out loud, you'd be too choked up with laughter to speak the acronym.
Pleonasm 36
Irony is saying the opposite of what you mean. Therefore lolling or lulling ironically would be doing so when it's quite clear that the joke or whetever wasn't funny. You could do a really exaggerated lol that is really scathing or whatever to put someone in their place about their unfunny joke. I dunno.
kurodansei 16
Irony: People keep using that word, but I do not think it means what they think it means. ButI could be wrong.
vocaloidtiger 12
I once actually said "xD" when my brother said something funny. Like, literally. I said those two letters out loud instead of laughing. Luckily he didn't hear me, or else I'd never hear the end of it.
kaylannixon 5
I never understood how people get THAT nervous. But anyway, that's embarrassing op, some things only work while texting.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I find it just as annoying while texting. I think everyone has used that phrase too much; they're just trying to make excuses for mistakes we all make. Maybe it's time to simply correct our mistakes and move on? I'm guilty of it myself, and of course the "Damn Homophones" excuse when I use the wrong "there," but come on, guys; it's getting old! ;)
tmmundy 17
4...I suppose not everyone is like you and some people do get THAT nervous, believe or not. I'm sure that they would all like to be like you and not get THAT nervous and be able to control their nerves, however we are all different.
jogihoppa8343 23
well that's a good point...
Cbizzlez 10
To Desiree it.
Caitlyn36 8
I don't see why this is getting thumbed down, he was making a witty joke about autocorrect (you deserved it)
BadApple88 29
i hope he has a sense of humor lol
mandachea10 8
Well hopefully he thought it was cute, I definitely would have laughed!
PenguinBitch 44
I would have slapped her and push her off a cliff and then laugh about it after, but that's just me.
birdierising 16
If she laughed after, it would have been awkwardly cute!
Antares_01 9
Ouch, I know that feeling of nervousness.. Your legs feel like jelly (I didn't even know it was possible until I experienced it), you start getting hot under the collar and you stutter a bit..
solosohigh 15
hopefully you just went with it and made a joke out of it. if he has a sense of humor, he'll laugh with you. if not, he's just another attractive guy.
daniel_dd31 13
You know you text to much when....
perdix 31
You should have laughed and said, "Semi-colon, close parenthesis!" If you reveal yourself as a nerd, you might as well go all-in and see what happens.
anyav3 13
Your comments are half the reason I read FML :) thanks for brightening up my day!