Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was hanging washing out in the sun, a huge cicada flew into my face and somehow got behind my glasses. I screamed and ripped them off and ran away. I came back to a broken pair of VERY expensive glasses. FML
Today, a bee landed on my leg. I didn't realize it was there until my friend yelled out, "Bee!" kicked me in the leg, and ran off. I fell to the ground screaming and clutching my leg. She missed the bee and it still stung me. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML
Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked, I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML
Today, I went for a jog to enjoy the fall weather. I tripped over a tree root and fell face-first into a pile of leaves. As I tried to get up, a bunch of kids had gathered to laugh, and one even shouted something about, “A grown-ass man playing in the leaves!” FML
Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML
Today, while stocking the green beans at work, I picked up a "leaf" which turned out to be a grasshopper. I screamed so loud, my coworkers now think I'm crazy. This is only my second week here. FML
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML
Today, I was riding to a prom with my friends in the middle of a swamp-covered area. I stuck my head out the top and screamed like they do in the movies. My hair, makeup, and mouth were quickly filled with bugs. FML
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Top comments
dontpanic_fml 32
Quick tutorial. Ninjas do: Swiftly chop bugs before they can hit face Ninjas don't: Scream and flail
Ambient25 25
Just tell them you were practicing your mosh
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Comments (87)
rabidpeach 5
i also enjoy drugs at feativals. get at me bro.
1crabbygirl 10
Ninjas don't scream OR flail.
azrael_666 1
Ninjas disappear..... You went into wimp mode
monkeydragon 9
Ninjas neither flail nor scream. They were silent assassins.
RandomNameHere44 10
Haha thank you for the laugh, OP XD
daidax_238 26
Forgive me if I'm wrong, but in what universe does "instant ninja mode" mean "flailing my arms around and screaming"?
kevingirl 6
I'm pretty sure ninjas don't scream and flail. more like pussy mode.
sharond23 10
instant ninja mode?? lol. you sound like a tool
Kara_araK 24
Screaming and flailing is the exact opposite of ninja mode.....