Today, I was working at my desk when a colleague came over to my desk and said, “You loiter in gay bars”. I started having a panic attack because I thought he'd found out and would out me to my wife. Only when he began cracking up laughing did I realise it was a "joke." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML
Today, I decided to come out to a co-worker. She looked at me, then laughed, and said, "You can't be gay, you're fat!" FML
Today, my co-worker thought it would be funny to tell her husband that she cheated on him with me. I'm scared to death and I don't dare to go out by myself. FML
Today, I found out everybody at work thinks I'm a lesbian because they thought my boyfriend was a girl. FML
Today, I confessed to my co-worker that I've secretly loved him for months. He laughed hysterically for about a minute straight before shaking his head and excusing himself from the store. Even the fact that my boss fired him for leaving early isn't cheering me up. FML
Today, I found out that the coworker I’d been crushing on told me he was gay so I wouldn’t hit on him anymore. Turns out he did that so he could focus on wooing a female coworker of mine. They’re now dating. FML
Today, I learned why a guy at work hates me when he drunkenly confessed it at a work retreat. Apparently I look like a gay teenager he had a horrible awkward one-night stand with, and every time he sees me he gets mad at himself. I could have gone my whole life without knowing that. FML
Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML
Today, I gained the courage to talk to the guy I have a crush on. In a dying part of the conversation, I panicked and ended up asking him if he was gay. He replied no and seemed offended, so I quickly added, "You just seem a little gay sometimes, in a good way." He took more offense and left. FML
Today, I had to warn the decorator we hired to stop being inappropriate with my wife or I’d fire his ass. Turns out not only is he gay, like super gay with his husband on Facebook, he’s also my wife’s old college buddy. He started crying on our sofa and my wife hit me with her handbag. FML
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Top comments
Inkoseh 33
The joke is offensive because he doesn't know you're actually gay; I'll give you that, and ONLY that. But you're a joke yourself OP. F your wife's life. Tell her and stop dragging her along and ruining any chance at a life with someone who will actually give a shit about her and not lie/hide their sexuality as well as ******* cheat while most likely scouting for a sexual partner.
tounces7 28
**** your wifes life since her relationship with you is a complete lie.
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Comments (12)
Charlie Given 28
that's not cool man you shouldn't keep that from your wife
Inkoseh 33
The joke is offensive because he doesn't know you're actually gay; I'll give you that, and ONLY that. But you're a joke yourself OP. F your wife's life. Tell her and stop dragging her along and ruining any chance at a life with someone who will actually give a shit about her and not lie/hide their sexuality as well as ******* cheat while most likely scouting for a sexual partner.
tounces7 28
**** your wifes life since her relationship with you is a complete lie.
RichardPencil 32
I guess your wife is going to love the punch line of that joke.
KingAdrock 16
**** your wife's life...
cassiking316 3
yeah you're definitely a pos. You sound like a manipulative, cheating, jerk who has no sympathy. You're wasting her life and yours. let her go and let her be happy without you. she deserves the best at life.
Levi2411 41
No sympathy, you need to come clean to your wife and let her actually have a loving and real relationship. You're completely selfish for stringing her along like that, be honest and go be with someone you actually want/shares your orientation.
juggalo2 22
To all the people giving him hate: he said he loiters in gay bars, not that he's cheating on his wife. Being a tourist is not cheating. Yes, he should be honest, but these things may take time. Don't judge when you don't know his situation.
Lydmyers 9
dude, you need to have a serious talk with your wife.
MandiJo 5
Maybe don’t cheat on your wife with men?