Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, my dad was drunk and angry, so I went to the neighbor's since I didn't know what to do. He was so nice and comforted me as I cried. Then his wife came home, called him a pedophile, beat me, and threw me out. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML
Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
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Top comments
UnluckyLatina 22
Lampposts can be assholes sometimes
BoeingAirbus 4
Are you saying that talking to lampposts isn't normal?
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Comments (36)
Cads1 24
Your Dad loves lamp.
ontheFLY4 25
Damnit, beat me to it.
1dvos_grl3 21
*Yells to the lamp post* "Well don't be rude, let him in!!"
itschrissy_16 16
Once my mom was drunk in front of my crush.... Things were just heating.....
Teyros 24
OP you need to take a lesson from your dad and lighten up.
peacheso 31
Captain obvious.
irish_lad 16
Lamp the lamp post
DanCastellaneta 17
Hey, look at it this way; it wasn't you doing that.
Imadeek 4
But did you take a video? Do it next time and show it to him, and us obviously
katydid91 31
That doesn't strike me as something one would want on the internet.
abNormal62 23
Maybe he mistook it for a tardis and couldn't figure out why it wasn't opening?
ApplePie1994 27
He was trying to find Narnia but took a wrong turn.