Today, I had a conversation with another patient in my gyno's waiting room. It was about her getting pregnant in a truck while passed out drunk, her therapist's frequent use of a "For Dummies" books, and how she had waxed and oiled everything to impress our doctor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML
Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML
Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML
Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML
Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML
Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me, "Have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "You mean with other people?" FML
Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said, "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML
Today, I've been having persistent fungal infections and was getting treated by a male gynecologist. I had to go in to give vaginal swab tests. I washed and cleaned before I left, but when I got on the doctor's table I already had so much discharge. The doctor asked, "Is it the medicine?" I had to say no. FML
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
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Top comments
jessicaazzzzzzzz 3
Is this one of those "my friend" things where this is all actually you?
ClassyCommando 13
I always make my teeth look nice for the sexy dentist...I guess that's almost the same thing.
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Comments (136)
rubberduckie94 13
I wish I could meet somebody that entertaining in a doctor's waiting room.
Ashley91129 6
Shouldn't it be her who's writing the FML?
anencephalic 14
At least there was no room for uncomfortable silence?
goldfishgod 20
There are some things more uncomfortable than silence...
canonite 7
hahaha, sounds like this lady was a wild one. None the less... don't talk to strangers. :P
DocBastard 40
Ah, there is something about patients who want to look/smell good for their doctors. Nothing is worse than patients coming in smelling like a landfill and looking like they got beaten with an ugly stick.
loserman67 36
True Doc, but the background on this broad makes me think she has genital warts on her genital warts...
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8
Well, there are those... then there are the ladies who show up for an 8 a.m. yoga session wearing an entire bottle's worth of perfume. They're long been oblivious/immune to the smell.
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8
*they've
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8
*They've - I get the distinct impression my phone is trolling me and cackling madly right now. ):
jessecast91 0
btw your Tattoes are awesome!!!
micahsmommy 13
But you work trauma, right Doc? So how would I clean myself up if I'm coming to see you?
Shelta957 13
23- as opposed to a beautiful stick??
DocBastard 40
Micahsmommy - always wear clean underwear and socks before getting in the car. I do general surgery too, by the way.
bubbywaldo 0
But waxed and oiled? What is she, furniture?
br0ccoli 15
122 - you are obviously male.
loserman67 36
"Waxed and oiled"? I can see the waxed part (an image that is burned into my mind) but the oiled part has me stumped. Does she have a squeeky coochie? I picture this broad weighing a deuce maybe a deuce and one half. Fire engine red hair, bright red lipstick, too much mascara, nicotine stained fingers and teeth with combination cigarette/Budweiser breath. "Hey Doc, while you're down there can you harvest some crabs for me?" Sounds like a real winner.
Posiedon57 0
"Does she have a squeaky coochie?" killed me. Props to you my friend. Keep being funny :3
br0ccoli 15
Oil makes it shine like a car being shown on a Mecum auction showroom floor.
loserman67 36
True Doc, but the background on this broad makes me think she has genital warts on her genital warts...
KeyboardWarrior 10
There's a reply button ya'know...
flashback.miss 28
O________O
THE_A_TEEN 28
Is this the smiley game? I LOVE THAT GAME! Here's mine: 8¦[
ninjaboy18 6
Damn that lady is weird
cjhons 16
Hey, at least the chick is seeing a therapist-there's some hope yet!