Today, my mother told me that I was "made" in the bathroom of the store I work at now. She even pointed out which stall. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "…and she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked, "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML
Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML
Today, I was shopping in a store and an employee was mopping the floor. She mopped all around where I was standing then told me to wait until the floor dried to move. I had to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML
Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name when she followed me into the bathroom and called it out in a disgusted tone when I farted so loudly, she could hear it from four stalls over. FML
Today, I walked into a restroom at a restaurant, took one step inside, and realized it was the staff-only restroom. The manager was inside, staring at me like I was an alien. I just smiled and awkwardly walked out. FML
Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML
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Top comments
dzhonatan 14
I guess you could turn it into a positive thing and keep the tradition going... Okay, maybe there is no positive way to look at this.
hexo21 13
Wow. Talk about tmi
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Comments (94)
QueenSaru 28
I never understand 'conceived' stories. Unless someone is having so little sex (ie once a month) that they can pinpoint a conception date and time... how do they know these things?
xNephilim 19
The doctors can almost pinpoint conception dates by now, just like they do with due dates. If you're having sex like most couples, as in every other day, it sometimes makes it possible to tell when exactly you conceived your child.
worldclassrager 41
Better than conceived right?
damnit1989 16
I would never be able to go into that stall again without thinking about that :-(
RedPillSucks 33
Is your dad Gepetto?
WeskersSexslave 15
At least your moms open to telling you. My parents think I believe them when they said they "prayed" for kids. I make believe its true lmao
Lancer033 5
...well, your mom may have been say "oh God" a lot. Good news is that your dad is good in bed.
imbedderdenu 23
ew.
Jayy_Dash23 9
haha your momma kept it real tho
KatzeZauber 7
Aww you found your way home!
The_Toadster 6
you haven't gone very far in life
HowsBoutaRoadie 8
your parents are trashy