Today, my mother told me that I was "made" in the bathroom of the store I work at now. She even pointed out which stall. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "…and she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked, "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML
Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML
Today, I was shopping in a store and an employee was mopping the floor. She mopped all around where I was standing then told me to wait until the floor dried to move. I had to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML
Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name when she followed me into the bathroom and called it out in a disgusted tone when I farted so loudly, she could hear it from four stalls over. FML
Today, I walked into a restroom at a restaurant, took one step inside, and realized it was the staff-only restroom. The manager was inside, staring at me like I was an alien. I just smiled and awkwardly walked out. FML
Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML
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Top comments
dzhonatan 14
I guess you could turn it into a positive thing and keep the tradition going... Okay, maybe there is no positive way to look at this.
hexo21 13
Wow. Talk about tmi
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Comments (94)
hexo21 13
Wow. Talk about tmi
JMichael 26
She forgot the time of day down to the exact hour, minute, and second.
kylieh72 25
This is where the phrase "some things are better left unsaid" came from.
boxbrandon11 20
It was your destiny to work there.
Marley_000 14
I feel you OP. I was named after a musician who's memorial concert I was conceived at. Every time someone makes the connection and asks me about my name... I die a little inside.
creedfish 21
@64 Bob marley?
grapefruit_hd 7
@ #84 was it Bob Marley
ladyLALAA 29
Maybe try not to make it into a tradition!
dzhonatan 14
I guess you could turn it into a positive thing and keep the tradition going... Okay, maybe there is no positive way to look at this.
Miss_Whipped 43
And life comes full circle, once again.
mcloonybin 15
I was coming here to make a "circle of life" comment, but you beat me to it.
NeatNit 33
it's destiny!
Miss_Whipped 43
Let's be honest. You wouldn't want a destiny that began in a bathroom stall.
MortenM 17
Still beats a destiny that ends in a bathroom stall
cherries62212 16
Time to bleach the brain I guess. sorry OP... my mom tells me the same type of disturbing things...:(
missyfiona89 28
soo... Where were you conceived?
Anonie248 10
My mom told me i was conceived during really bad sex... So i feel for ya
FrankHotpants 31
I know some people don't care to know but I think everyone should know where they were conceived, it's pretty much where you're life began.
missyfiona89 28
toilet baby! We've got a toilet baby here!
SideOfTheAngels 23
Nothing wrong with being the product of spontaneity :)
MidnaLink 35
Thing is… there are much better places for spontaneity.
syki 22
If you plan where you want 'spontaneity' to take place, is it really still spontaneous?
Morning_fml 22
They always say, honesty is the best policy!
Miss_Whipped 43
I think 'Employees must wash hands before returning to kitchen' is also a good policy.
plunkit 6
If you can pinpoint the time and place you conceive your child You are not having enough sex.
RedPillSucks 33
having a child can be memorable, especially if the sex (or location) was unusual. Now, if you're having sex in so many unusual (weird) places that you can't recount them all, that could be a problem too.
FunnnyGirrl 19
Classy
SmittyJA24 26
Not.
Lancer033 5
who hasn't hooked up in a restaurant bathroom? nothing wrong with it.