Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML
Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML
Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML
Today, I was on a conference call while in the bathroom with all the important people in my district. I thought my phone was on mute, so I took the opportunity to flush the toilet. Turns out, that my phone wasn't on mute, and everyone heard it. I'm the only one who was on the conference call outside of work. FML
Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kamkak 0
why didn't you just have a portable phone with you?
towboatdude 0
Op sounds like you wound up in a shity situation there! I know I'm wrong for that but I couldn't pass it up...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (80)
RaIeigh 0
Ohh, another "explosive" diarrhea FML. People should learn different words to describe their bowel movements :/
Vanni 0
Happy?
RaIeigh 0
Yes, I am very happy :] (see my smiley there?) Thank you Ms./Mr. Moderator.
andruha1123 5
ydi for living anywhere other than Chicago, especially Canada
TaylorTotsYumm 10
stanky
alex112094 5
11 get off your computer and get a life. ignorent price of crap maybe before posting a comment you shoud see how Canada is.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
I like Canada.(: There are lots of squirrels there.
jadedwaitress 0
I love how it's only racist if you're a white person insulting a visible minority but it's completely alright for Americans to mock Canada and France all the time. How about you come live here for a year or two and then give your "opinion" fucktard.
DamnDatFML 0
11 fails in life, Chicago ain't that great I lived there for 3 years then went to New York baby, that's where the money is
carpediem9_fml 0
Hahaha explosive ftw
llcooljoey 0
get a wireless phone
ladidalisa 0
effff youuu!
ladidalisa 0
oh wait his comment is gone
ladidalisa 0
the eff you was for that hot guy that was saying Canada is bad.
ScooterScott 0
I guess this isn't the same person that names their craps, because then this would be called something funny. Funny names people, get on it!
ezrl_ritvoi 0
23... Canada and France are not races so it is not racism... and you just did the same thing by generalizing negatively about Americans... I'm an American and I don't bash other countries for "humor".
ILoveMyXbox 0
11 - andruha - shut your ******* ***** mouth you ****. canada rocks your ****** socks off you ugly pice of shit, your photo looks like ****** crap nice hair u ****** fag
TaylorTotsYumm 10
did you hear? the Canadian olympic mens hockey team won the gold metal! well.. the must have been on their 'eh' game. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAHH!
TurboTalon 0
I'm assuming since 97% of all new phones sold are cordless that OP has at least one. Why not keep the phone on you if the call is so important??
verymerry 6
lmao @27!!!!!
zomgwtfbbqbagel 0
chorro
Einstein714 0
that's what I thought, carry your wireless phone to the can
rallets 23
couldve been worse, you couldve shat in the phone and answered the toilet
Melvar_10 3
#70 ftw! And I like Canada! And I'm American! Canada ha the biggest mall AND they gifted the world with Deadmau5 :)
pingpongpickle 8
ydi for saying "washroom"
smattoliver 0
I wouldve answered the call. the phone can't transfer smells
domonoadamu 0
75 I love you. Joel Zimmerman is my hero. <3
kamkak 0
why didn't you just have a portable phone with you?
FuckMyLife195 0
yeah #4 that's what I was going to say
towboatdude 0
Op sounds like you wound up in a shity situation there! I know I'm wrong for that but I couldn't pass it up...
Mr_Zachary 0
Come on Vanni, my love, make me do number ones, just like IRL! ;) lol JK
alex112094 5
ouch
alex112094 5
hey fucktard I live in Montreal. and Canada rapes ur mom ignorent Americans get off your goddamn computers and go outside and stop posting bad things about a country. ******.
RedPillSucks 33
Canada snubbed America by not letting it be the 11th provence. We had to wait years to get government funded health care.
alex112094 5
16 I agree with you. you should go it's awesome. 11 is just an ignorent emo
alex112094 5
yea there are lots like one that bit my finger. lol
alex112094 5
23 I whrote a comment like u and it got deleted it was kinda owning 11s ass it was how ignorent americans think there the best. it's cuz there parents teach them crap and now they know it.
Intoxicunt 6
Um, so let me get this straight. You're pissed at a handful of Americans for insulting your country and making sweeping generalizations, sooo... you do the exact same? Pot. Kettle. "how ignorent americans think there the best."
CloudEnvy 17
Go team Dumb.
ezrl_ritvoi 0
you're now doing what you dislike though. you hate Americans for stereotyping Canada and France and other countries but you are stereotyping Americans. for a moment, please, think.
stupidfaceman 0
I'ming right now on ur face