Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had sex with someone new for the first time after my 10 year relationship ended. The person was a friend who had been making serious sexual references toward me on and off over the year I've known him. I don't know if I'm more embarrassed that he couldn't keep it up, or that I came from anticipation anyways. FML
Today, I bought my very first car that I spent years saving for. A few hours after I signed all the papers, I let my boyfriend go for a test drive. He totaled it. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, I drove my new car with a manual transmission for the first time by myself. I was at a stoplight and saw a cute guy in the car next to me. He looked my way and gave me "the nod". The light turned green and I tried to go but I stalled out, lurching my car forward right into the car next to me. FML
Today, my friend got her first car. I bought mine three weeks ago and haven't started making payments. She came straight from the dealership to pick me up. She backed into my car. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I'd had a crush on for a long time. When I asked if he was having trouble putting it in, he answered that he was fully in. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MagicMushrooms 0
He should be nervous! Cars are important thing to get right!
Zebidee 9
You hooked up with a drunk guy you met three hours before, and the sex wasn't perfect? I can understand your disappointment that he wasn't a caring and sensitive lover...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (134)
tifa_14 0
WTF?!
123RPG 0
ohhhh tht sux
Skroal_stomper 5
You got what you deserve ****.
Mourningstar 4
Try being a better lay. Like moaning or even moving I think would help, hell if you wet on top he could get away.
Morpheus414 0
He's practicing on you for when he makes love to his car's tailpipe. You KNOW the lovin's best there. :-)
knelson19 0
OP...YDI, I'm sorry. You should really think about what might happen in your future if you keep living like that :/.
booger6256 5
im a car dealer and i sell cars in a my sleep and oen a ferrari. km thinking about my car all the time,even if i can see it haha
bigboi392 0
hey can we talk?
hopelessxdesign 5
brits tend to say "bloke" rather than "dude"...
qwerty1990 0
well, get better at screwing and that won't happen *****