Today, my husband and I are celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary. It's also the 5th anniversary of the last time he made me orgasm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary. All I got was him stopping by for a quickie before he went into work. FML
Today, it's the sixth anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML
Today, it was my fifth wedding anniversary. After an intense lovemaking session, my husband looked lovingly into my eyes and asked, "How do you feel about polygamy?" FML
Today, I finally had sex with my husband and orgasmed. Three hours apart from each other. FML
Today, more than fifteen years of marriage and sex at least once a week has given my otherwise lovely husband the stamina to last a minute and a half. We've cum together less than five times. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our five-year anniversary. I got him a new flat-screen TV. He got me toilet seat cover. FML
Today, it’s mine and my fiancée’s two year anniversary. No, not our engagement or dating anniversary, it’s the two year anniversary of when we last had sex. FML
Today, it's my 2-year wedding anniversary. It also marks 2 years since my wife told me, "We're married now we don't need to have sex anymore." FML
Today, it's been so long since my husband has been able to give me an orgasm that when he finally did today, I started sobbing. FML
Today, is the 6 month anniversary of my boyfriend and I. Turns out next month he will be celebrating the 3 year anniversary of him and his wife. FML
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Top comments
InsaneGenius 0
You need to guide him and tell him what to do. He can't read your mind ya know. If he just doesn't care, then FYL.
allmidnighteyes 11
THIS. You need to let him know what you need in order to get an ******. You're most likely not gonna reach ****** by vaginal stimulation alone, you need clitoral stimulation, and if it involves you teaching him how to go down on you, then just roll with it. Communication is key. Don't fake it and falsely boost his confidence, because that way, he thinks he's doing something right and will just keep doing whatever it is he's doing wrong.
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Comments (115)
imabeast17 0
that sucks
USAF_girl 3
That does suck! Better stock up on batteries! lol Or just find another man....or both..... lol
yetanotherginger 19
or just teach him how to please you.
ellielovesyuh 0
it does suck!:/ I find it sad that there's so many fmls about men not being able to please there women. geez you guyss; step it upp!
USAF_girl 3
He's probably too old to learn any new tricks.
doctor_itsmylife 3
you orgasmed in the night of your wedding. what can be more beautiful for a woman? suck it up princess, you married him, not us
ramirezlmt 0
I think this is way more emotional than pleasure. You organismed on your wedding night the most beautiful etc etc etc night of all. Men really don't get it, sex isn't just mechanical. He probably thinks a vag is an inside out penis. Tips? Do one of your fanastys tie me up etc. If that's not one and you want him to take control. Wait do you at least climax? Tips? rubber, lub, foreplay. OH AND A VIBRATING penis RING! If fails (I am a guy) focus on what gets your hot. Telling your man to be romantic kinda kills anything he does. So good luck with the O but climax completely this will do it.
dwold91 3
Maybe you should talk to him about it?? Instead of bitching to us!
xnox 6
Check, maybe he has a profile on gaydar.... Welcome to pretend marriage =)
quiter 0
wear long socks
SchiTzenGiglez 0
lol what?
TheCamoWulf 17
Why?
InsaneGenius 0
You need to guide him and tell him what to do. He can't read your mind ya know. If he just doesn't care, then FYL.
allmidnighteyes 11
THIS. You need to let him know what you need in order to get an ******. You're most likely not gonna reach ****** by vaginal stimulation alone, you need clitoral stimulation, and if it involves you teaching him how to go down on you, then just roll with it. Communication is key. Don't fake it and falsely boost his confidence, because that way, he thinks he's doing something right and will just keep doing whatever it is he's doing wrong.
DjeePee 25
*starts singing* Communication, communication, lalalalalalalala *keeps singing* OP, if you lived five years without orgasms - and maybe also a good sexual life - without telling it to your partner so you both could work to improve the situation, you are pathetic. No sympathy from me.
allmidnighteyes 11
Seriously, no pity. Orgasms are amongst the best things in life right alongside bacon, laughter, and everything else fun and amazing.
asmanoncesaid 0
I don't think the OP needs advice from someone who has never given anyone other than himself an ******...
afdude87 6
lol@27
cradle6 13
27- that doesn't even make sense. she needs to give HIM advice.
ItsmeRJ_ 0
27 Win :)
MRGalaxc 0
haha 27 beaat
wtfcammelcheese 0
I agree I read this and I thought the exact same thing I h8 wen women say they don't get orgasms specially if they fake
squidgaamic 0
DjeePee ftw with the cold hard truth you said its better Than any one could have
Alleged_Cranium 7
Well you shouldn't just lie there. Help him out. You know what they say: if you can't please yourself, try your other hand.
free2speak 14
Seriously! if he wants your hoo-ha then make him work for it. You're married for five years and you haven't told him that you are not getting an ****** everytime you do it? WTF? I'm sure he'd be more than happy if you told him how to please you and he would probably be grateful that he doesnt have to wonder anymore, what he is doing wrong. And I'm surprised he hasn't asked you why you're not cumming (unless you're really good at faking it which is still YDI). And this is all assuming that you even have a sex life and if you don't... dear god.
TheNewGuy03 29
i love smart, rationally thinking individuals. this is a reason why marriages fall apart nowadays. no communication. tell him you ain't cumming. |the kid|
youfailed18 0
Put more effort in.
manzanita2121 6
maybe someone needs to start taking control.
evilcartman 0
bring another girl to bed
fergie0815 2
That sounds like sound advice. She already resents him in bed so let's bring in another girl. Because that will make HER feel better.
prettypinkpixie 9
wow you're a moron #6...
manzanita2121 6
why? if she hops on top and control the situation she'll get that ****** ;)
fylnotmine89 1
#6 I could not agree more! I wish more women would take your advice. too many women complain about the mans performance in the sack but are never willing to jump on top to do their thing to get theirs. so needless to say no pitty for this chick.
sh33na_is_a_punk 0
y don't u use a big ***** and get some satisfaction from...or go to Africa...or I may be of assistance
mintcar 10
Communication is key! Have you talked to him about it?
perdix 31
Congrats on the five years of fakery. Stay together, but dissolve the marriage and you'll be on your way to O-town in a jiffy. Isn't that better than getting his Social Security after he dies or having the right to not testify against him in court?