Today, I slept with my boyfriend for the first time. I'd always imagined it would be a romantic moment, but it turned out that "Saw 5" was on the TV in the background, and the sex was so fantastically tragic that I ended up watching/listening to it, on the sly. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to face my fear of horror movies by promising to hold my hand through the entire flick. He fell asleep 10 minutes into it, farting and snoring in his sleep, whilst I was paralysed by fear. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML
Today, I was having a movie night with my significant other. I suggested a classic horror movie binge, and she agreed. However, as soon as the movie started, she fell asleep and started snoring louder than a chainsaw. It's hard to take scary movies seriously with the sounds of a chainsaw going on, I tell you. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML
Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML
Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML
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Top comments
doubleAbattery 0
This FML is worded horribly.
keywestlov 0
wow. horror movies and sex? i dont see what your complaining about! those are awesome things.
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Comments (66)
Serix 0
i am sure he thought you were pretty much ******* terrible too.
0 3
What sort of grammar do they have over in Australia? I honestly can't make heads or tails of this one.
Erindub 0
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Erindub 0
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Megadeth_fml 0
Saw Movies Rule Cant Wait For Saw 6!
marisol180 19
When she was talking about the sex, maybe she means to say The Sex and the City movie or tv show. I'm sorry OP that you didn't have great night that you planned.
mfdg456 0
She's being sarcastic about the sex being good. If your not a complete moron you should be able to understand ths post just fine.
cadian_munkey 1
it's quite obvious, even to the grammatically inept Australians, that the OP is being sarcastic. I guess she meant to say 'the sex was THAT good tht I watched some of the movie. ',
pegasii 0
that*, mister grammatically correct American.
alyzandra 0
It still doesn't keep it from sounding retarded.
wellthatsucks 0
I'm thinking she meant "the sex WASNT that good so I watched it for a while". Still, that's not FML but FHL. :/