Today, I slept with my boyfriend for the first time. I'd always imagined it would be a romantic moment, but it turned out that "Saw 5" was on the TV in the background, and the sex was so fantastically tragic that I ended up watching/listening to it, on the sly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to face my fear of horror movies by promising to hold my hand through the entire flick. He fell asleep 10 minutes into it, farting and snoring in his sleep, whilst I was paralysed by fear. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML
Today, I was having a movie night with my significant other. I suggested a classic horror movie binge, and she agreed. However, as soon as the movie started, she fell asleep and started snoring louder than a chainsaw. It's hard to take scary movies seriously with the sounds of a chainsaw going on, I tell you. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML
Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML
Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML
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Top comments
doubleAbattery 0
This FML is worded horribly.
keywestlov 0
wow. horror movies and sex? i dont see what your complaining about! those are awesome things.
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Comments (66)
MiseryMan 0
I guess the OP's boyfriend didn't have any **** to get things hot, so he had to manage with the next best thing.
Lifelooser_fml 0
Thats just Aussie men. Try again.
Melephant_fml 0
My first time was while watching Super Troopers. First times are never romantic.
alexthedude 0
for one a really cool movie. =D also its not an fml... like at all
mixxybee 0
I can totally imagine that, lol right as you guys are getting it on you hear torture noises in the background XD
SoIcyKoolin 0
if you're 18, you shoulda hit me up
lovecraft93 0
I lost my virginity while Beowulf was on.. it was great :P
hihowudern 0
She is saying that the sex is so bad that she watched saw
kat815 0
if a guy told me the sex was " fantastically tragica" i would be offened
Ressamies 6
well, some of the reviewers described Saw as "torture ****" :D Saw is awesome tho.