Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML
Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML
Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML
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Top comments
1dvs_bstd 41
Smart and strategic by your dog. Drooled for you to fall. it was intentional, i tells ya.
Leodak 16
Don't be a dick to your dog then.
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Comments (97)
mh47 8
KARMA.
MSDemonslayer 5
YOU SLIPPED AND FELL AND YOUR DOG ATE THE BACON?!!?!???!!!! THAT'S A WASTE OF BACON RIGHT THERE! HOW COULD YOU DO SUCH A THING??!!!?!
TisAPenguin 16
You should never tease your dog with food. They don't understand that you're just being an asshole and have no intention of giving them anything. There's a reason there are more "YDI"'s than "I agree"'s here, you prick.
mkayden 23
Karma is awesome.
crazycly 7
Gotto love instant karma! Sucked in!
mclovin22897 15
karma is a bitch!
Jake_Street_8 5
Oh God... I accidentally mixed up fucken in the title with cooking in the FML. That made things weird...
SUPERKAYLA 18
Karma is amazing.
WylieRiley 4
I think we call that karma. lmao
TheVurcle 10
YDI for being a dick to your dog, you don't deserve to own it