Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML
Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML
Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML
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Top comments
1dvs_bstd 41
Smart and strategic by your dog. Drooled for you to fall. it was intentional, i tells ya.
Leodak 16
Don't be a dick to your dog then.
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Comments (97)
vexer 1
Now cook your dog and eat it. itll taste like bacon
91hayek 31
Good thing you slipped because she was probably close to ruining you by prank calling the police many times from your phone or taking loans out in your name and ruining your credit while using the money to buy vegan bacon and change out your supply when you weren't looking. You just escaped that vengeance and you don't even know it. It's satiated; for now.
slipstreak 10
Overkill.
toaster123 11
WTF
B90 9
Smells like karma to me.
Nilorak 24
Smells like bacon to me.
Edumcg 24
Smells like teen spirit to me.
False_Stupidity 42
Smells like Satan's unholy ass gas... oh wait, that's me. 0.o
B90 9
I'd say he deserves it for teasing his dog without intention of giving the dog any sort of treat. Not because of the type of bacon he might be feeding her.
bravesgirl55 11
That's hilarious! I hope you didn't get hurt. The bright side is that you could always fry more!
Neongreenme 8
Karma is a bitch! Dog 1 stupid human 0
noobheadz 7
Smells like its cooking karma instead!
kingdomgirl94 29
YDDI ( Your dog deserved it)
BobbieH 19
See what happens when you're a tease! The pooch gets the delicious, meaty morsels of goodness!
ghostsoul21 12
What person teases their dog like that.. That's just mean to the dog..
more4me 27
An idiot. Miss Karma noticed that too ! ;)