Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML
Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML
Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML
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Top comments
1dvs_bstd 41
Smart and strategic by your dog. Drooled for you to fall. it was intentional, i tells ya.
Leodak 16
Don't be a dick to your dog then.
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Comments (97)
FMLGriff 8
Dog - 1; Dumbass - 0
ollivander_fml 11
I'm sorry, you were /teasing/ your dog? As if it gave a shit about anything other than the food? Mmkay then.
Osyx 20
This is one of the biggest YDI I've seen for a while, instant karma.
Javk0204 1
karma haha
gimmethatbetty 7
That's what you get for teasing
Olivia93 20
That's what you get for teasing the dog. The dog always wins one way or another ;)
BvbArmy_0 18
Stupid ******* dogs think they're always ******* entitled to everything
StealthySky 5
It's not that the dogs think they deserve it, it's really only because they don't understand they can't have it. The dog smells it, it smells good and so they go after it. Besides. What would YOU do if you needed to depend on someone for food, only to have them wave it in your face, with no intention of letting you have it? Yeah, I bet you'd react with the same attitude.
InkedGamer 9
KARMA FOR THE WIN!
itsdepression 10
Karma's a bitch
manowarkidd 8
unless she had it on a ate which she didnt add she would have been very lucky that the oil didnt burn the **** out of her