Today, my ex-boyfriend sent me a photo of him getting head from a gorgeous woman. He captioned it “Jealous?” with smiley emojis. I’m not sure what’s creepier, the fact that he sent it, that he even has my new number or that we broke up more than 8 years ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my ex-boyfriend, who I have been trying to get back together with, texted me. He asked me how life was going, he then asked me if I had the naked picture of him saved on my phone. I asked him why. He replied that he wanted to send it to his crush. FML
Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML
Today, I sent a screenshot of my ex’s new partner to my best friend with a caption saying, “She looks like a melted candle.” Of course, I sent it directly to my ex. He replied with, “She’s right next to me.” FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend sent me an email. I was excited that she wanted to make amends for cheating on me before I dumped her. No, the email had a photo of her making out with the guy she cheated on me with, and the caption, "What you wish you still had". FML
Today, after my boyfriend told me I didn’t have to worry about the ex who kept commenting on his pictures, I saw him sexting her when I leaned forward to tell him something from the back of our friend's car. FML
Today, my cheater of an ex-boyfriend sent me one of his many messages proclaiming his new-found love for me, and in the middle of it asked me how my period was going. FML
Today, it's been a few months ago since we finally got the divorce we’ve wanted for years. He seems to have forgotten our shared photo library as he just uploaded a bunch of photos of all his disgusting sexual exploits, including the threesome he always wanted. Meanwhile, I can’t get so much as a second date. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend got high and decided to text all our friends and family the crazy stories about us. He was even nice enough to include pictures. I hear a nude one made it to my Dad. FML
Today, I discovered that my cheating, stealing ex-boyfriend is posting pictures of naked women having group sex, with my face photoshopped onto them. He sent those to my boss, my friends, my family, and only because I refused to bail his drunken self out of jail a couple weeks ago. FML
Today, my obsessive stalker of an ex found my girlfriend on Facebook and sent her a message saying just ":)". For some reason I'll never understand, she took this as a sign that I'd just slept with my ex. Now I'm single, and my ex is probably planning her next move. FML
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Top comments
Rae Miller 10
Send it to his mom if she’s still alive.
julfunky 29
“new number. who dis?”
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Comments (11)
julfunky 29
“new number. who dis?”
jbuckets_404 39
Signed: "--Bob (When can this horny guy suck on that, too ;-)"
Rae Miller 10
Send it to his mom if she’s still alive.
RichardPencil 32
My vote is for the 8 years. Getting head from a gorgeous woman should make him forget about you. Who am I kidding? Getting head from any woman should do that, except maybe one with nasty, pointy teeth.
acmariner99 25
Someone is holding a grudge.
weeping_willow 25
Uh, stalker much?
mssileas 25
Why would him receiving a ******** make you jealous LMAO I mean I like oral sex as much as the next person but I've never fondly reminisced of blowing some fella and I am so baffled by how that was his go-to method. Ok but anyway, OP, he's obviously a moron and also a jerk, and I feel like someone should get that poor other woman away from him as well.
timinator5000 28
probably was a hooker he paid for lol
0neiros 14
Your reply should have been "Yes. Her eyesight must be incredible to find that tiny thing, or did she go by sense of smell like I had to, following the scent of failure and regret with a touch of urine.
MitiMiki 16
I would have replied: "He's cute, what's his name?"
CookieMonsterElla 7
The fact that he thinks you're jealous of an over 8 year gap relationship makes me believe he only just got over it.